Ringing in the New Year with some new goals

I know y'all were chomping at the bit to see what my goals are :) Admit it!!!
First though....Some reflections. (Patience, people!)
It truely is amazing what a difference a year makes. This year, I started a lifelong journey with the man I love. Wyatt gained a father who loves him without reserve. I've learned to look inside more for answers rather than depending on others. I became a homeowner!! I became anti-HOA. I've learned to value great friendships, despite differences. I've found out who some of my friends really were. I had to re-think myself. I went from being a dedicated EMT to being a Stay at Home Mom. A job with endless rewards, certainly, but an often thankless one. I found out what it's like to be the patient for once...and also realized how very much my husband loves me in the process. Routine procedures are never routine when it's yourself or your family...a valuable lesson I will take with me if I go back to work. Some people will drop what they are doing to come to your aid...and, no matter what differences you and that person have, that person is a life long friend and should be cherished. I've discovered and re-discovered my Faith. I learned that some people have endless amounts of love inside of them, and no matter how many animals you get, only a child will make you feel as though that love is being given to the right person. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is for a long time. I have to remember that. I'm still realizing that there is no mold that we have to fit into. I can be a Christian woman and still fit in with my old friends. I've realized that sparkle often hides defects...Character is what counts.
I know that all seems jumbled. As I thought it, I typed it.
My goals for 2010
Lose some of this weight.
Spend less time on the computer and more time with my son
Maintain a budget
Work on my homemakers notebook
Embrace being a homemaker.
Start homesteading (Start small...some egg hens)
Respect my husband and all he does more than I do now
Accept whatever my body has in store for me, and realize there is more than one way to love a child.
Practice patience!!!
Cook from scratch more often (This also falls under homesteading and budgeting)
Grow my own tomatoes

So, I'm fat, old, and barren

Well, I went to the Reproductive Endocrinologist yesterday. That was not fun.
Oh yes, I haven't really posted about trying to conceive. We've been trying for 11 cycles now. I really don't think about it much, other than when my period is due. Now though, all the fun is being drained out of it. I'm officially being treated for infertility. Kinda surreal.

These are the things the doctor told me we are going to initially look at:

• Sperm antibodies (Totally a Randy thing...I'm not sure if that means his stuff attacks...well....his stuff, but I guess we will see)
• Low progesterone for me (Which I think may very well be it...Would explain a lot of things going on)
• My weight (What, fat people cant' have kids???)

The very kind doctor also told me that I'm too old for working out alone to help me lose weight. I have to portion control. Which is fine! I am not in denial about my weight issue. And, hey, what greater motivator do I need for weight loss other than having a baby?

I'm also, on my own, cutting out coffee. Slowly. For now, I'm down to 1 cup a day. Today's the first day, and it's still early, so we will see. And I'm really not doing that because of the caffeine. I put a lot of sugar and creamer in my coffee, so hopefully this way I will cut calories too.

Now, all this being said, the diet itself is waiting until Monday. Can't let it interfere with Girls' Night!!

Tomorrow is New Years Eve. Do I want to post my list of goals for the New Year? I will think about it and get back to you. You will find out tomorrow. Neener neener

Who am I?

I know we all struggle at times with wondering who we really are. There are so many changes I want to make for 2010, but I don't know if these changes are because I'm trying to live to others' expectations, or if it's because I want to be a better me for...me.
I have this idea of who I want to be, who I strive to be. The problem is that it's SO different from the way I grew up and the way I've lived most of my adult life.
I want to be a good Christian woman, but it's like there's this invisible checklist of what that involves, and there are some things on that list that I don't know if I want to meet. Well, no, I do want to...but it's so hard.
My best friend is an awesome person and she understands me in ways noone else ever probably will. I'm terrified that if I change my life that much we won't have as much in common. I could never ever lose her friendship. She is a great person in so many ways.
I know a lot of this is stuff I need to sit and pray about. I have a long drive to a dr today, and I think I will spend a lot of that reflecting.

Hello...Remember me??

Well, if you are a loyal blog follower, you will read this. If not, you've already abandoned me since it's been a while....

We had a good (busy) holiday. Our biggest Christmas present? We have a contract on our house, and we've made one on another. There are a few things that need to be fixed in the new house before we move in. The new house is so much more "us" than this one is. Hopefully this one will do well in inspection (no reason it shouldn't) and everything will go as planned...and we will have a new address the last Friday in January.

To see our new house, click here.

There's a lot to do now to get this house (and Christmas) packed up!!! Is there enough coffee???

I hope (ha ha) to post a list of goals for 2010. This will be a busy week...but we will see.

Best news of all??? I am spending Saturday night with my Trish. Girls Night is alive and well!! Perhaps we will take pictures this time. Maybe not....Definitely not if there is Swampwater involved. I'm hoping we just do a night in...Maybe get carry out or something. Definitely rum.