Lot's going on!

I know it's been a while. There has been a lot going on for us.

As everyone knows, we moved into our new house. It's much smaller, but with a lot of land. Our first night here, I took a deep breath and realized....I actually, felt calm. This just feels right. It will feel more right once we are all unpacked though!

Wyatt is adapting VERY well....LOL....We have a rule that when either Randy or I are at work, or away for the night, Wyatt can fall asleep in our bed. Well, this week, it seems one of us has been away every night! Wyatt does love his new firetruck room, and he's getting used to having to keep his toys in his room.

One night this week, we had gone out to dinner with some friends. Randy and my friend's husband each met us when they got off work. Well, when I dropped off my friend and her kids, both husbands had suggested I stay the night there because the roads were very slick. A few hours into the night, while I was on the phone with Randy, our sweet puppy, Sam, passed away. He was only 4 months old. I thought I was doing well with it, but I'm crying as I type this. The next morning, Wyatt, who didn't know Sam was gone yet, told me that Sam was next to him playing on the floor, but I couldn't see him. Now, Wyatt knows that Sam is in a place with all the Milkbones in the world. Mocha is NOT doing well at all with it. She's not eating, and she lays around a lot. Keep in mind that she is barely a year old. I don't know what to do for her. She's skinny to begin with. My heart hurts for her.

I did go back to work this week. Back to EMS. 20 hours and not one call. We didn't even go get food. I was bored to tears. Easy money though, I guess. I would have said that we don't need the money, but, well, who can't use it? It's helping me to find myself again, and it's certainly nice to get out of the house. It makes me think that I CAN homeschool, because going to work will give me the break I need. But, I'm still not sure about that (Shocking, 'aint it?)

We did go to an open house for a Christian school for Wyatt. I did like it, but I just don't know. I have yet to see something that feels "right" for us.

I went back to the fertility specialist today. As it turns out, I have one blocked tube and one good tube. So, my chances of conceiving naturally are really diminished. So we discussed my medical options. (Anyone who doesn't want to read personal stuff, just skip this paragraph. Better yet...Get outta my blog!!!) They can do a laproscopy to find out why it's blocked, but that's just going to tell us why, not fix it. No, thank you! So, I can take Clomid, a pill to help you make more eggs, then have an IUI (Intra Uterine Insemination....Basically, they will take Randy's sperm and put it right in my uterus). It has less than 10% success rate for someone with both tubes working. Half of that for me. Then, there's injectable drugs for me, followed by an IUI. Higher success rate, but again, it's cut in half for me. Lastly there is IVF. We all know what that is. That has a 40% success rate, and, because my tubes don't matter, it's still 40% for me. Naturally, it's also the most expensive route. I talked to Randy, and he's all about pursuing that. I have some reservations. But I will say that Randy is of the mind that it's my body, so what we put it through is my choice.

So that brings us to paying for this thing. There's the logical "let's get totally out of debt and then save for it" way of thinking. The only debt we have is 6,000 remaining on the house. So that means that we could, reasonably, pay for it within a year. (After paying off the 6000) Then there is the "let's take out a loan, pay off Steve, get the IVF done, and pay the loan off as quickly as possible" way of thinking. There is the part of me that says that we have waited long enough. I don't want to wait anymore. I want my baby now. It's so hard. I try to tell myself that there is still the chance we can get pregnant on our own. So maybe we should pay off Steve, save up the 10 grand, and keep trying in the meantime. However, I have never been known for my patience. See? Another decision. I'm done with them, thank you.

What to do, what to do???

It looks like we are going to be snowed in for the weekend. Randy has to be at work in the morning, so he just went in tonight since the worst of it will hit overnight. I'm spending tonight hanging in my jammies, and then tomorrow I plan to tackle a lot of this "stuff". I want to get these boxes outta here, and my house in order! When better to do it than when I'm snowed in?