Bear with me, please. This is a combination advice/venting/update post.
OK, so...we made a decision. We'd actually had a contract on a house, then, deciding we didn't want any debt, we decided to buy my brother's house (There were other reasons, but that was teh primary one) So, January 29, we will be the proud owners of 3 1/2 acres with gorgeous mountain views. And (drum roll please) no HOA!!! YEE HAW! When we made this decision, for the first time in a month, I was actually happy. Longer than a month, really. There was a relief there that I didn't feel when we put the contract on the first house. I feel like, as far as that's concerned, things are right. The house is on the small side, but that's ok. Love grows best in little houses, right?
Along with that...I want a vegie garden. Tomatoes and zucchini. Maybe cucumbers. How do I start? I have no clue. Should I start inside? If so, I won't start til the end of the month, since that's when I move.
Wyatt's 4 1/2. If he goes to school next year, I need to register him. I'm really torn about homeschooling. I don't know that I can do it. Well, that's not true. I know I CAN....I mean, he counts to 100, can add, knows fractions...He's a smart guy. There's a co-op near me, and several families in our church homeschool. But (bad mom here) I want a break! And it doens't help that SIL (who I love) is a PS teacher, so there's pressure from her to send him. But, as one of the HS moms in our church says, I don't want to "unteach" him stuff when he gets home. And he's already ahead of some 1st graders. When he gets bored, he looks for trouble. Am I a bad mom for wanting a break? A little over a year ago I was working 4 jobs, now I'm a SAHM. I love my son, and we want a large family, but where did *I* go?
I think I'm going through some depression. I don't know if it's the fertility issues, or what. I'm pretty sure I have low progesterone, and that would account for mood swings, my hormones being out of whack, but lately, it's all I can do to get off the couch long enough to brush my teeth. I know I have lots of sources of stress right now (both good and bad) but some days I don't care. Maybe it's exhaustion. (I forgot having a new puppy was like having a newborn) And I'm so freakin sick of putting on a happy face for everyone all the time.
OK, I'm done now. I think. SOrry, had to get it all out
Steph, I think your down right now with the wait of your move. It's hard to be Up all the time when time doesn't move fast enough, and then we get overwhelmed. Glad your choice is made and your view should improve your moods, as you described the mountains. Patience in the TTC department, I too went thru that years ago. One day it will happen and you'll ask yourself how? I asked my doctor that, lol he said the usual way. Keep trying and hang in there, spring is just around the corner.
ReplyDeleteFirst, let me say that when you choose less debt, you have more money to fix up the house with, to make it into a perfect home for your family. Second, let me chat with you about hormones...they are inexplicable...and will cause you to make desicions out of the tired, confusion they leave you with. I recommend that you get some herbal yam cream and use it religiously. IT WORKS! There are so many side effects of low progesterone that aren't good. Even causing early wrinkles/dry skin, constipation, foggy mindedness, being indecisive, groughy/moody/irratible/whiny, and feeling overwhelmed and very tired. Not a good foundation for making any decisions, much less one about your kiddo's education. I agree with not wanting to 'unteach' but even more than that is the fact that you can never get that time back once it's gone. I wouldn't trade anything for teaching my youngest two to read...priceless! You care about old-fashioned values and Biblical living and God has already laid it on your heart about the value of homeschooling, so don't make ANY decisions like this until you get those hormone levels on an even keel again, okay?! You are already one step ahead of the game! Hugs to you!
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