Is anyone even reading these?

OK, so, I was totally calm. I was so impressed by how calm I was. Then they called today with my progesterone level. They really only do that to ensure that I ovulated. Well, that wasn't my issue, so I assumed I had. Was it enough for me that they confirmed it? Nooooo I had to ask what the number was. Which means I have spent the afternoon obsessing about it. It's in the right range, depending on where you look, but would it be higher if there was more than one egg? And I thought it was supposed to be higher when you are on fertility meds?

I keep trying to remind myself to stop and breathe. This whole thing is just such a process, and I need to be patient. But you knwo how you feel when you're on a really long road trip, and you finally get to your destination state? You are soooo close, but just not there yet. You're excited, but so tired. That's how I feel.

Speaking of tired. The pregnancy hormone is in my system still. And boy, do I feel it. I'm sooo tired. And I opened a take out container of wings earlier, and wanted to run to the bathroom. And the heartburn! I promise not to complain when I have pregnancy symptoms because I'm pregnant, however, I reserve the right to complain when they are a result of the meds.

I still really am over all optimistic about this process, and about it working this month. It's just that, for the first time, I don't know what the numbers mean, exactly. I don't like the not knowing.

I made a playlist on my iPod. It's basically just songs that are mellow and slow and can be applied to pregnancy. I listen to that for at least half hour a day, and just try to visualize all the things I hope are going on in my body. And, of course I pray. After all, that's really all I can do, and believe me, that is one of my priorities.