Well, the blood test was negative. I had my little mini breakdown....the 2 days where, if Wyatt wasn't home, I was in bed. The hardest thing for me in all of this is that I keep applying a label to myself. *Infertile* I just never thought that would be me.
So, we are taking a break. It's a good thing, really. I mean, it hurts, but...it's for the best. (And, be forewarned, if you tell me "oh, now that you're not trying, you'll be pregnant in no time" I may very well strangle you. It's anatomically impossible)
You know, I, of course, have spent many a prayer on this very situation. First it was to get pregnant, then it was for peace in whatever happens, now it's for the next step. (And, yes, there's still that part of me that wants to yell "HELLO God! Can't you hear me? I'm being a good girl and saying my prayers, why won't you answer them?" But, I know that's not the way it works) Anyway, so now that I've been praying for the next step, it seems like every time I turn around there's something about adoption. Now, I'm not saying that's what our next step is, and I'm not quite ready to give up on being pregnant again. But, it's something I'm really looking into and researching. Obviously, I'm very pro adoption, as I have a beautiful adopted niece, and, of course, my hubby was adopted. I just don't know that I"m ready to give up on being pregnant on purpose. I do wish my sister in law and I were closer, so I could talk to her. I wish my mother in law was still alive. I'd love to get their viewpoints on this. (For those who are confused, Randy's dad remarried before I met Randy) Maybe I will send my sister in law an email today.
Anyway, there was something else I was going to write, and now I can't remember what it was.
Lots to do today...gotta clean up around here, make my cooking list for T-Day, do some laundry, look into volunteering at the animal shelter, and get ready for Randy's birthday dinner with my parents tonight. (I even got a baby sitter!!! WAHOO!!!)
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