Ringing in the New Year with some new goals

I know y'all were chomping at the bit to see what my goals are :) Admit it!!!
First though....Some reflections. (Patience, people!)
It truely is amazing what a difference a year makes. This year, I started a lifelong journey with the man I love. Wyatt gained a father who loves him without reserve. I've learned to look inside more for answers rather than depending on others. I became a homeowner!! I became anti-HOA. I've learned to value great friendships, despite differences. I've found out who some of my friends really were. I had to re-think myself. I went from being a dedicated EMT to being a Stay at Home Mom. A job with endless rewards, certainly, but an often thankless one. I found out what it's like to be the patient for once...and also realized how very much my husband loves me in the process. Routine procedures are never routine when it's yourself or your family...a valuable lesson I will take with me if I go back to work. Some people will drop what they are doing to come to your aid...and, no matter what differences you and that person have, that person is a life long friend and should be cherished. I've discovered and re-discovered my Faith. I learned that some people have endless amounts of love inside of them, and no matter how many animals you get, only a child will make you feel as though that love is being given to the right person. Everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know what that reason is for a long time. I have to remember that. I'm still realizing that there is no mold that we have to fit into. I can be a Christian woman and still fit in with my old friends. I've realized that sparkle often hides defects...Character is what counts.
I know that all seems jumbled. As I thought it, I typed it.
My goals for 2010
Lose some of this weight.
Spend less time on the computer and more time with my son
Maintain a budget
Work on my homemakers notebook
Embrace being a homemaker.
Start homesteading (Start small...some egg hens)
Respect my husband and all he does more than I do now
Accept whatever my body has in store for me, and realize there is more than one way to love a child.
Practice patience!!!
Cook from scratch more often (This also falls under homesteading and budgeting)
Grow my own tomatoes

So, I'm fat, old, and barren

Well, I went to the Reproductive Endocrinologist yesterday. That was not fun.
Oh yes, I haven't really posted about trying to conceive. We've been trying for 11 cycles now. I really don't think about it much, other than when my period is due. Now though, all the fun is being drained out of it. I'm officially being treated for infertility. Kinda surreal.

These are the things the doctor told me we are going to initially look at:

• Sperm antibodies (Totally a Randy thing...I'm not sure if that means his stuff attacks...well....his stuff, but I guess we will see)
• Low progesterone for me (Which I think may very well be it...Would explain a lot of things going on)
• My weight (What, fat people cant' have kids???)

The very kind doctor also told me that I'm too old for working out alone to help me lose weight. I have to portion control. Which is fine! I am not in denial about my weight issue. And, hey, what greater motivator do I need for weight loss other than having a baby?

I'm also, on my own, cutting out coffee. Slowly. For now, I'm down to 1 cup a day. Today's the first day, and it's still early, so we will see. And I'm really not doing that because of the caffeine. I put a lot of sugar and creamer in my coffee, so hopefully this way I will cut calories too.

Now, all this being said, the diet itself is waiting until Monday. Can't let it interfere with Girls' Night!!

Tomorrow is New Years Eve. Do I want to post my list of goals for the New Year? I will think about it and get back to you. You will find out tomorrow. Neener neener

Who am I?

I know we all struggle at times with wondering who we really are. There are so many changes I want to make for 2010, but I don't know if these changes are because I'm trying to live to others' expectations, or if it's because I want to be a better me for...me.
I have this idea of who I want to be, who I strive to be. The problem is that it's SO different from the way I grew up and the way I've lived most of my adult life.
I want to be a good Christian woman, but it's like there's this invisible checklist of what that involves, and there are some things on that list that I don't know if I want to meet. Well, no, I do want to...but it's so hard.
My best friend is an awesome person and she understands me in ways noone else ever probably will. I'm terrified that if I change my life that much we won't have as much in common. I could never ever lose her friendship. She is a great person in so many ways.
I know a lot of this is stuff I need to sit and pray about. I have a long drive to a dr today, and I think I will spend a lot of that reflecting.

Hello...Remember me??

Well, if you are a loyal blog follower, you will read this. If not, you've already abandoned me since it's been a while....

We had a good (busy) holiday. Our biggest Christmas present? We have a contract on our house, and we've made one on another. There are a few things that need to be fixed in the new house before we move in. The new house is so much more "us" than this one is. Hopefully this one will do well in inspection (no reason it shouldn't) and everything will go as planned...and we will have a new address the last Friday in January.

To see our new house, click here.

There's a lot to do now to get this house (and Christmas) packed up!!! Is there enough coffee???

I hope (ha ha) to post a list of goals for 2010. This will be a busy week...but we will see.

Best news of all??? I am spending Saturday night with my Trish. Girls Night is alive and well!! Perhaps we will take pictures this time. Maybe not....Definitely not if there is Swampwater involved. I'm hoping we just do a night in...Maybe get carry out or something. Definitely rum.

Countdown to Thanksgiving

Every day for the next week, I am going to write about something I am thankful for. Today, I have to say....I am thankful for my wonderful family. Hearing a sweet little voice say "Mommy?" every morning from the top of the stairs fills my heart. Then he MUST cuddle for several minutes. I can only pray that it will last for a few more years. I'm so very very thankful that he's a healthy, active 4 year old boy. He may drive me nanners, but I love him for it.
The newest addition to "my" family....My husband. He has given me more than I could ever thank him for. I have a security that I had only imagined. He's shown me that I can trust people, and that there are "good guys" out there. Most importantly, he's given Wyatt the greatest gift ever...a dad. Randy loves that little boy unconditionally, and it shows to anyone who sees them together. I will forever love Randy for that, if nothing else.

Alright you impatient people....

I really haven't had much to write. Last weekend I visited some friends, and totally stayed out too late. I've been so tired all week...I was in bed at 7:45 last night!
Well, Randy and I have been talking...I really want to go back to EMS, even if it's just part time. So I have an interview with my old boss tomorrow. We shall see what happens. I'm still going to keep the kids. I would have to work my schedule around Randy's so one of us is home anyway for Wyatt, and Randy is ok with the daycare kids.
Our house is (back) on the market. We really want land. I'm ready to go bonkers. We found a house that we love, but it's not in the town we are in now, and we really want to stay here, if we stay in the area. So we are looking at a few comprable houses this weekend. I'm sure none of them will have the view of the house we've already fallen in love with. But, life is all about compromise.Right? Right? Agree with me here people!
I got to see my bestest friend this weekend. Nothing like some time with my Frish to really feel better. She really helps me to put a lot into perspective. I would be lost without her. Friends like her are so rare, and once you find one, you should hold onto him/her with all that you have.
My monkey is begging for a drink. I suppose I should give him one before he withers away to nothing.
Since Thanksgiving is a week from tomorrow, I am going to TRY to write one post every day about something I am Thankful for.

Family Dynamics

So this morning my son informed me that he is the kitten's daddy. I'm down with that. Ok. So then he tells me I am the mommy. Well, this isn't WV, but hey...Then he tells me Randy is the Grandpa. Oy. Wyatt really is a cutie. And the kitten (Barnum...*his* kitten) loves Wyatt to pieces. He sleeps with Wyatt all night. Which Randy and I are grateful for...Otherwise there would be tantrums. Wyatt really does have a way with animals. It's so cute.

Sooo...the current thought process is that we are gonna hang out in our house for a couple of years, then find an old farmhouse with some land to fix up. We really went back and forth about fixing our house up the way we want it. That would involve adding a woodstove, changing some stuff in the kitchen, and, in general, making it have a more rustic feel. I do love our house, despite it's quirks, and think it has a lot of space. I wish we had more land, although I like living in a neighborhood (to a certain extent). I just want a home with personality. But then, why can't we give our house some? I think, with some effort and time, we can make our house more "us". It certainly needs paint almost everywhere. But, it is just so cookie cutter. Do we really want to put the blood, sweat, and tears into a house that isn't our dream home? But then, once we add to the family, do we really want to buy a fixer upper? Where will we find the time for that? Thoughts and comments are more than welcome! In the meantime, I just collect pics of decorating ideas I like, and see if it's something we can work with.

No new updates really

but, Trish is at work, so I know she will read this. Then I will get lectured for not writing anything.

I started watching a 2nd child yesterday. She just turned 5, so she and Wyatt will be in the same class. It was great! Autumn was a little sick, but she grew up so much over the weekend! She cooed almost all day. Such a sweet happy baby. Emily and Wyatt played together once Wyatt got home. Having Emily around makes things easier on me! Today we are going to paint birdhouses, I think.

I am a bad soccer mom. Practice is cancelled today, and I got way too excited about that. Guess I will have to keep my butt parked on the couch with BonBons!

I got my Tastefully Simple consultant kit. There's a lot in there, but I'm definitely excited about starting this new chapter of my life. And it came with goodies for us to eat....SCORE!

Last night was NOT a fun night. Wyatt was awake 3 hours past his bedtime. He had this heart that Randy's nieces had made for him, and he accidently broke it. He was absolutely sobbing, saying he broke Daddy's heart, and Daddy would be mad at him. We had to call Randy to reassure Wyatt. I was tired, so I wasn't patient with Wyatt AT ALL. Shockingly, Wyatt is still asleep. This boy is up at 6:30 every morning, and we are pushing 8:00. Ahhh...I do believe I hear the pitter patter of elephant feet upstairs. Hopefully today goes well. I cannot deal with the mood swings coming from that kid! One minute he's laughing, then he will literally collapse into a tantruming heap of conflagrational mess.

Ah well, Super Mom is off to start the day. And make more coffee. Speaking of which, I am expecting a coffee shipment. Where is it? I shall stalk the front door in anticipation of the Fed Ex man. German Chocolate Cake flavored coffee....Mmmmmm.....Where is it????

Taking back control of my days

Lots to blog about today. This weekend I went on my first scrapbooking retreat. It was so much fun to spend time with an old friend. And, as a bonus, I got my wedding AND honeymoon books done! I am so excited! Steph and I also decided to take a vacation this summer with both of our families.

How was the weather at the beach you ask? Well...A Nor'easter blew through. We had a first floor ocean front room right on the beach...well, where the beach used to be. It was all under water. I was just there 3 months ago, and the beach was HUGE. Not this weekend! And the waves were gigantic! But we didn't spend the whole weekend holed up in the hotel room. Naturally, we hit the outlets, and, when the weather was really bad...We went outside and took pictures. We literally got blown across the pool deck, then had to fight the wind on the way back in. But we had to get those pictures to scrap about it!

I really am glad I had the weekend to enjoy myself. It was nice to recharge.

Now, for my resolution. I've already blogged about having an unplugged day. I've noticed that some days I spend so much time on my computer that things seem to fall apart around my house. I am not proud of that. This morning I am trying something new. I woke up 2 hours earlier than I needed to be awake. I got done everything on the computer I needed to get done. That should leave me with half hour to just read. After that, the computer is not getting turned on for the rest of the day. 2 hours a day is more than enough. My home and family are more important than social networking.

Some days you just need to start over...

As I've blogged about before...Some mornings, especially when Randy is at work, Wyatt gets up about 5 minutes after me. This morning I didn't even get to finish brewing my coffee before I heard my junior elephant coming down the steps.

After some cuddle time, I went upstairs to take a shower. The DirecTV guy was coming to fix the TV (Some time between 8-12) and, of course, Autumn was coming over. Well, as I get out of the shower at about 7:40, I hear a deep and very grown up voice calling from my foyer "Ma'am?"

After yelling down that I'd be down in a minute, I grabbed the first clothes I could find, and, hair still in a towel, went downstairs to greet the TV man. (Really? Since when do they come EARLY) Then I sat Wyatt down to have the stranger danger talk with him. "But Mom, I DID know him! It's the TV fixer guy!" Did I mention that I haven't had coffee yet?

So I got dressed, Autumn got here, realized Wyatt needed something that starts with the letter D for show and tell. He's downstairs looking through the toybox when he starts screaming that there's a spider. Clearly, he doesn't know ANYTHING about his mother. I told him to step on it. I was not going down there. No way. He finally comes up, without the dog.. I had to go down and get it. In the basement. Where the spider was.

We finally get out the door at 8:26. Wyatt's school is 6 minutes away and starts at 8:30. Not a big deal, so we're a minute late. We can make it! Oh, no, there's a school bus. And look, it's stopping at every other house! Look at the lights flashing! And where is my travel mug of coffee? On the kitchen table.

But, I have TV now.

"We've lost the village"

So...On the surface, I am the stereotypical stay at home mom at this moment. The baby is sleeping in the swing, Wyatt is downstairs playing, and I am curled up in a recliner drinking coffee and watchign Dr. Phil. And, let me admit that I put off switching the laundry to watch it. All that's missing are my Bon Bons. Today's episode of Dr Phil is the eternal debate for moms...Does staying home really benefit the child socially, academically...etc.
I am not an expert. I know this time last year I was working...A LOT. I was very blessed to have a childcare provider who was amazing with Wyatt. She seemed more like a part of the family than "an employee"...And I always treasured her way more than someone would care about an employee.
But I digress.
Randy and I really talked about whether I should work. He wanted me to stay home, and I did too, but, honestly, I was scared. There are days that I just want to get out. I want something to do that's not all about Wyatt. Does that make me selfish? I LOVED my job, and that made it that much harder. There are definitely a few days I miss working. But for the first time in my son's life, I get to be the one to tuck him in every night.
I honestly think we've made the right decision for our family. And that's just it...It's a decision that each family needs to make. There is no one size fits all solution. Not these days anyway.
Hmmm...this really was kinda pointless. But I have been threatened if I don't blog more often. So here ya go Trish :-P

Caffeine

Ahhh...Here I sit, at 3:26 in the afternoon drinking coffee. Please don't think I won't be able to sleep tonight. I asure you, I will. I have been drinking coffee in the afternoon for the last week. At first, it's because it got a little chilly and I wanted a warm drink. Now? Well, if I don't have it, I'm afraid that my resulting mood will cause a conflagration.

I've started babysitting the sweetest little baby girl. Earning money really shouldnt' be so easy.

I spent half of this morning trying to explain to my son that, yes, it is a holiday and he doesn't have school. But, no, it's NOT Halloween. *Sigh* Then we had the conversation that Daddy still works on Holidays. Apparently more so than other days.

I miss "working". I miss the identity that I had wrapped up in being an EMT. I miss putting on my boots and my job shirt. I miss pushing buttons. I miss talking on the radio (Shocking, huh?) I miss helping people. I miss making a difference. I know I am, but in a different and so much better way, but...I dunno. Some days I feel so lost. I am so thankful for the opportunity to stay home. It's somethign I never thought I would have. I'm contemplating going back to school. I just want to be more than "Wyatt's Mom".

There is a princess stirring in the crib. I will write more tomorrow~

Who says I'm bored

Wow.

First of all, yesterday, Wyatt was in school, and I had 3 hours of peace and quiet. The dog was laying peacefully, leaving the cats alone. It was so nice. I actually missed the noise. Whoda thunkit?

This morning...not so much. It's like night and day. Dog's barking, cats are hissing, Wyatt is being the police officer trying to lock them all up (Sounds cute, but he's running through the house screaming with a siren) I am holed up in a closet. As long as noone knows to follow the cord to the computer I should be safe.

Now...Kitten names. I'm leaning more towards Barnum and Bailey. If this isn't a circus.....I don't know what is.

We have decided to take our house off the market. There are a bunch of reasons. We live in an awesome school district, Wyatt made a friend his own age yesterday, and I had a nice chat with the mom....And really, should we let one person w

ho had a snarky complaint chase us out of our house? We looked, and we just arent' going to find anything we will like as much as we do this house. Maybe when the market is better and we can get our money out of the house, but we would lose so much to sell it now. I like the location, I just wish we weren't in a neighborhood. But, now that Wyatt's older that's a good thing I guess. And this is the kind of neighborhood that you can tell your kid to come home when the porch lights come on. Wyatt knows his boundaries when he's riding his bike. And I have a craft room! Helllllooooo.....That alone is reason to stay :)

We also have a few other things in the works, but nothing I'm ready to divulge yet.

Mocha just ran behind the couch. She sounds like she's laughing. I guess I should check on that.

More coffee please!!!

Can't sleep...

I woke up early with a coughing fit, and couldn't get back to sleep. There's a lot on my mind today

We will definitely be sending Wyatt to school. Hopefully we get the house we want, which is very close to a wonderful Christian School. It's not that I don't think teachers can do their jobs...I know they can. It's more or less what we want him exposed to socially. Plus, my concern is that he is a very bright little boy...who looks for trouble when he is bored. He doesn't mean to get into trouble, he is just...mischevious. And I don't want him to get bored in school. But I will definitely stay active volunteering wherever he goes!
I'm very worried about a good friend. She's got a lot on her plate, and I hate not being with her to help her go through it. If I felt better, I would drive down to see her. Maybe this weekend I will kidnap her and go do lunch or something. I don't know yet. I want to make things better for her, and I can't, and I hate that.

In Loving Memory

I sat in the dark this morning thinking about a year ago today. I never wake up to my phone when it's on vibrate. Well, about 1 am a year ago, I woke up to a text message that Trooper 2 (a MD State Police helicopter that also does medical transports) was missing. I will never forget how I thought it was a joke at first. This is a helicopter I have been on with patients time and time again. At that point I was wide awake. I walked out of my room at my brother's house, and he was awake feeding my nephew. I told him what I had heard. While he fed Mason, I looked on the internet to find that not only was it true, but they were carrying 2 patients and an EMS provider from the first station I was ever a member of. My heart sunk. I thought for sure it was someone I knew. Then reports came in that the wreckage...and 1 survivor were found. How she survived we will never know. She was one of the original patients of the car accident. We still didn't know who the provider was. We were worried about our younger brother, since he was a member of that station. We knew he wasn't on board, but we also knew he was most likely going through a terrible time. We found out who it was (suprisingly, noone I knew well...just in passing) The next few days just seem like a dream. I'd been on the helicopter once when it had a malfunction. Thank God it was a minor one.

My blog today is posted in memory of:
Trooper Fist Class Mickey Lippy
Pilot Steven Bunker
EMT Tonya Mallard
Patient Ashley Younger

May God watch over their families.

Trooper 2 Memorial Video (Click to watch)

Me sitting on the helicopter during a high school field trip (We took EMT as part of our high school curriculum)

What an insane week!

Well, let's see...where to start.....

The terrible cough I had all week progressively got worse. Thank goodness Randy had taken some vacation time for a vacation that we postponed, so he was home to take care of Wyatt so I could take care of me. After getting short of breath walking across the room last night, I was pursuaded to go to the ER. And I was then diagnosed with a mild case of pneumonia. But m-o-o-o-m....I want bronchitis like everyone else! All the other kids have it, why can't I?

Someone came to look at the house today. I hope they love it. While they were here, we went to our old stand by, Chick Fil A. Wyatt opened the door to go into the playroom, and got his foot stuck under the door. A trip to the rescue squad to see Daddy and have him fix it, and Wyatt was good as new. Daddys are the best fixers ever!

Yesterday we aquired 2 kittens. They are currently nameless. 7 week old boys. I have no clue...Tom & Huck? Barnum & Bailey? (My house is like a circus most days)

Now....for the bad mommy moment. (Other than him losing some skin today) I am so torn about the whole schooling thing. I enjoy homeschooling him, but I also enjoy a peaceful and quiet house when he's at school. I feel rotten saying that. He's my son, it's my job to raise him, and not to be (just a little) relieved when he's at school. Randy's pushing me to send him, because he says he can tell a difference when I've had that me time, since I've been sleeping in. That makes me feel terrible! I've started looking at options. If we stay in this house because it doesn't sell, he will go to public school (we have great schools) If we get the house we want (terrible schools) then he will go to christian school. (Already researched the school, I'm excited to schedule a tour) I feel like I'm somehow failing as a mother. Which I know isn't true, because a lot of good parents send their kids to school. I just wanted to homeschool. Or I thought I did.

Signs are everywhere...you just have to look

Wow...What a week this has been! We had some issues pop up, and things were not looking too good, to say the least. We prayed, asked our friends to pray...and a decision was reversed, making things better. Still not perfect, but MUCH better. Someone in our church stepped in and helped us in a way that we never would have imagined. We really took that as a sign that this church is meant to be our home church. We had been looking at houses in various parts of the country, and we really decided that this was a sign for us to stay in the area.

And, on that note...We found a house we like. It needs work, but all cosmetic. New floors, new paint, new appliances. I am itching to get over there and open the windows and let it air out. Now the trick is to sell our house. Well, while we were looking at houses yesterday, we got a phone call that someone wants to see our house Saturday. This is the first phone call we've had like that since the week we put the house on the market! Pray that they like the house and want to make an offer! We have it insanely underpriced...we just want to get it sold!

Aaaand, for more exciting news....My Trish passed her National Registry Paramedic Exam!!!! YAY TRISH!!! I am so excited for her, and not surprised in the least. She studied her hiney off (well, tried to). She is so smart and darn good at what she does, and it showed! You go, girl! And *ahem* I told you so

Stupid SMIB germs!!

Well...for those of you who don't know, a SMIB is a Southern Maryland Inbred. It's a term of endearment for anyone from SoMD. I have come to the conclusion that noone else in PA is sick, therefore, this is all from the visit a week or so ago. I blame swampwater.

We saw Jeff Dunham Saturday night. Oh. My. Gosh. Freaking hilarious! Apparently he never brings out Bubba J anymore. Well, people from PA wrote to him and asked him to...so he did. And everyone in the audience was reciting Bubba J's lines with him. It was a riot! I have never laughed so hard in my life. You know that laughing you do where you forget to breathe, then it gives you a headache? (Play along with me here...smile and nod) Well, that was me all night.

There is still a big decision looming on the horizon. Not sure what we are going to decide, but for those of you who pray, I ask that you do please. It's not anything bad, but it would be nice to have some direction to go in. And we all know my husband....he tells me what I want to hear, so I never know for sure what he wants. And I don't want this decision to be about what I want.

I had SO much fun today. I volunteered some time setting up for a large consignment sale. (Did I say large...how about ginormous?) I worked with a great group of ladies. I can't believe how much they had...and I left before they were done collecting! I get to shop tomorrow. There is a wagon I have my eye on. I hope it's still there! I get to be one of the first shoppers since I volunteered 8 hours, so we will see... For anyone in the Carlisle area...JustLikeNewKids.com I promise it's worth it! I will never buy new clothes again, I don't think

So much to say.....Hmmm.....

I have no clue what to blog about today, but I promised myself I would try to blog every day. It's really very relaxing for me. This morning I woke up early on purpose so I could have my coffee and my blog. There's tons on my mind, but nothing I want to put "out there" just yet. And no, *sniffle* not pregnant yet.

There, I will talk about that. Why is it that it was SO easy to get pregnant before, but now? It seems to be escaping me. I never in a million years thought that, when I was ready to try, it would take some time. Have I blogged about this before? Possibly, I don't know. I can't remember yesterday, much less what I blogged about before.

Homesteading....something I so want to do. I have NO clue how to do it, but I want to anyway. I am learning from a great group of girls. Somehow I do think I blogged about this yesterday. I need more coffee.

AHA! You blog readers don't know that I'm watching my neice and nephew today do you? See, there ya go. Something new. Yes, I will have the cutie pies today. I love being surrounded by kiddos. It just makes me so happy. Today will be very busy...I have to drop some consignment stuff off, Wyatt's soccer game is at noon, take all the kiddos (even Wyatt) to my brothers, come home and clean for the open house tomorrow, then tonight I am going to see Jeff Dunham! Yay! I am super excited about that.

OH OH OH! I didn't tell you people this either....I am SO proud of Wyatt. Part of his homeschooling curriculum is to learn a bible verse every week. At first, I was very skeptical. Well, this week, he has memorized Proverbs 4:20 "Pay attention, my child, to what I say. Listen carefully" Now, let's just hope he follows it! But I am SO proud of him! I added hand motions to it, and it took him 2 days! We started school late this year, so it's only been one week, but I think this week has shown me that I CAN do it. I hardly expect results overnight, but in a weeks time I can see progress! I am so excited! He's learned his days of the week (although sometimes he forgets Thursday....little booger wants to jumy right to Friday), the bible verse, and what a dictionary is. I really feel like we are off to a good start. I can do this!

Wishes, dreams, and plans for the future

There are really so many things I'd like to do for my family. I've already blogged about a weekly unplugged day, and that's going well. I've stepped back and taken a hard look at what it means to be a biblical homemaker. That is something I strive for.

I also want to learn to be more self-reliant. When we move, I'd like to start a hearty vegetable garden, start buying meats from a local butcher, sewing things myself (not everyday clothes, but cloth diapers, when the time comes, maybe a skirt or 2 here or there)

This all sounds so crazy, and it's so very different that what I wanted even a year ago. I feel like I'm a totally different person now. I'm someone that I think noone expected me to be. Some of my old "friends" were apparently pretty surprised I got married. You know, I am so much happier now that I ever could have believed I would be. I stumbled upon some online groups that promote homesteading, and I really feel like it's a direction I'm meant to be headed in. Unfortuntely, where we are right now, it's not possible (stupid HOA!) but where we are going...I can see it being a reality. I don't expect it to be easy, and I know it will take work, but how rewarding!

I know some of my old friends are going to read this and think I'm nuts, just like some of them think I'm nuts for homeschooling. And I'm totally ok with that :) If we were all the same, then things would get pretty boring pretty quickly!

I'm outnumbered!

Yesterday I picked up my cutie pie niece and nephew, and I will watch them until this evening. 3 kids under 5, 1 large puppy, and me. I LOVE it! Last night we were all crammed in Wyatt's bed reading bedtime stories. It was so nice. There is something that is just SO peaceful about cuddling little ones and the smell of kid shampoo. (Please note that at this time the large puppy was in her crate tucked in for the night)

I haven't updated in a few days. I had a great weekend with my bestest, Trish, and her beautiful (and very easy to carry) little doodle bug. I think I can honestly say we aren't as young as we used to be, but we had fun anyway. Sunday I had to lay low for a little bit and just recharge. Trish and I have a great arrangement...I go down there once every other month, and on my off months, she comes up here. Sometimes we take kids, sometimes not. When she's up here, we MUST make a trip to chocolate world. Girlfriends and chocolate. What else would I need???

Hmmm...I hear a lot of banging upstairs. But no screams or crying. It must be ok.

I suppose I should make breakfast for the 3 cutest monsters in the world.

Homeschooling: Our great debate

To homeschool or not to homeschool? THAT is the question. Anyone who has ever considered homeschooling for a nanosecond knows that there is a lot to take into consideration. Today I'm going to kind of think out loud about homeschooling, so this blog may turn into a list, argument with myself, who knows :) But first let me just say that what we've finally decided is to send Wyatt to pre-school and then supplement with homeschooling. The primary reason is (drumroll) academics. Yes, I'm talking about academics for a 4 year old. I sat in the parent orientation and heard one of the teacher's say that they won't be teaching writing skills until halfway through the school year because most of the kids don't have the small motor skills to write. That struck me...Wyatt has been writing letters since he was 3! So here we have our first example of having to slow down curriculum to accomidate everyone. Then the next day, I went to my Mom's bible study. More than half the moms there homeschool. And some of the points they made were AMAZING. I will use some of them in my list :)

Things to consider when homeschoooling (accompanied by my thoughts on the subject)
~Most importantly, academics...See above. Some people say that they don't know how to educate children on different grade levels. It can be done, with patience, organization and time, I'm sure
~Socialization (This is a BIG one!) As one of my friends pointed out, do you send your children to school to learn, or get socialized? Yes, both are very important. But I want to be able to have some control over who my children socialize with. Often, especially in middle and high school, more time is spend "desocializing" your children when they come home. I want to control what my children are exposed to. Of course, I realize I can't do this completely, but I can to an extent, and I plan to. We have joined a homeschooling co-op, so there are still field trips and plenty of time for socialization
~But...I'm not a teacher! Well, sure you are. You just don't have a degree. Your children walked, talked, learned to feed themselves....how? There are just so many options for homeschooling curriculum now. In fact, when I interviewed a private school for Wyatt, I found that they were using a homeschooling curriculum. Well, why can't I do that?
~Time...How much time is actually spent, per day, on instruction in school? This is in no way meant to say teachers don't spend their time well...I've sat in many a classroom, and I think, for the most part, the teachers DO spent their time very well. But sometimes they have to explain something a couple of times, and time has to be spent waiting to go on until all the children are cought up. Wyatt gets bored when he has to wait. When Wyatt gets bored, he gets in trouble.
~Closeness with family...One of the things that really planted the homeschooling thing in my brain was that I noticed a lot of the teenagers in our church were very close with their families...and they weren't afraid to show it! Sons would lean on their dads during the service, and you could really see the love they all had for each other. When I commented on this to a friend of mine who attends our church, she said that most of the teenagers are homeschooled. I thought that one thing alone speaks volumes.
~Room to homeschool...I wondered, where will I ever make space, especially once we move (Which will cut our square footage in half) Well...there's the kitchen table. And why not there? We review the calendar in the morning over breakfast, and things just flow naturally after that. We don't need a special room or corner, although if you can have one, that's great too. I have a large bulletin board, that I take out and hang once the school day starts. I know a mom who covers hers up with another painting when it's not in use.

There is so much more I could write, but Wyatt wants to cuddle. My favorite thing!

What are we fighting for?

God Bless America

First of all, let me just say that it AMAZES me how people have forgotten. In my opinion, everyone should find some way to honor ALL of the Americans that lost their lives as a result of the terrorist attacks 8 years ago. Almost every Firefighter or EMT has made a comment about their coworkers who perrished. Granted, today I'm wearing a fire department t-shirt honoring the first due truck to the WTC. But what about all the others? Those brave people who helped bring down the plane in PA. In my mind, their actions were braver than those of the firefighters (Here is where I brace myself for the difference in opinion) Firefighters go to work every day knowing they may not come home. Let's face it, it's part of the risk associated with the job. But those men and women were boarding a plane, leading ordniary "safe" lives. Those people are my heroes. They made a decision they knew would be their last. And they were completely selfless. The fact that they made that decision as "ordinary" people is what makes them extraordinary in my eyes.

I don't intend to discount any of the other brave men and women who gave their lives. They too are heroes. I just think that sometimes we, especially the firefighting community, forgets about everyone else that day.

I was completly distressed today when I dropped my son off for his first day of Pre-School. When we got dressed this morning, he wanted to know why I insisted he wear a shirt with an American flag on the front. I told him that today was the day God made many people heroes. When I dropped him off at school, I was surprised to see that virtually none of the other children were wearing anything that might signify what today is. I certainly don't expect children to understand the meaning of it, but, as parents, isn't our job to teach children respect? I think the children should at least have an awareness that today is special. It leads me to believe that the date is already forgotten.

What a week!

I looked at our calendar for this week today. My goodness! We have a lot in store. Tuesday and Thursday, Wyatt has practice, we are watching AnnMarie and Mason while Shirley has games, Wednesday is Wyatt's open house, Friday is his first day of school, and Wednesday we are also getting Mocha spayed. That's just what I can think of....OH! And Friday, I am going to a HUGE consignment sale. Hopefully sometime in all of that April will have her baby, so I will have some extra cooking to do!

I can't wait until this evening. Around Noon I plan on putting the makings for Chili in the CrockPot. Then we can come home from practice and it will be all ready. It's the perfect day for it...cloudy, chilly, and I'm sure we will all be looking forward to it after practice! I love cooking in the CrockPot. Throw everything in, turn it on, and voila! In a few hours you have a yummy homemade dinner. Does it get any better?

Why is it that shoes get lost all the time? Wyatt has TWO pairs of tennis shoes, and not one pair is to be found. Naturally, we have the 2 left shoes. If you see a 4 year old walking around a playground with 2 different shoes on, and he's walking a little funny, odds are he's mine.

Happy Labor Day

Well, today marks the official end of Summer. Mother Nature has decided to help us with the transition. It's cloudy and a little cool. Not so good for our first annual cookout, but great because I LOVE Fall!

Where we live, there is SO much to do this time of year...Craft fairs, county fairs, crop pickings, and beautiful scenery. Plus it's time to go out in jeans and t-shirts and not be so hot all the time. We can go to the ammusement parks and not have to deal with crowds. And the smell of Fall...It's great! Fall just has that unique smell...I can't describe it, I guess it's people burning wood in the fireplace, the dry leaves, the hay....It's so comforting. For me, Fall is wrapping up in a blanket on the front porch in the morning, and taking a few moments to just enjoy life. It's just such a cozy time of year. Thie year Wyatt is taking a field trip to the pumpkin patch...and I can't wait.

I know I haven't written lately. There's a lot that's been going on in my head. Plus, I've been a little busier with Wyatt in the mornings. He starts Pre-School Friday, so I'm sure I'll have more time then. Lots going on at church too.

Our first day "unplugged"

We have decided to spend Sundays unplugged...No computers, no TV...Just us and some books, board games, parks, and the backyard
Yesterday was our first unplugged day. Like most other things, it didn't go quite as planned. We knew, obviously, that it was an open house day. We had planned on going to Chocolate World (one of our favorite free outings) then to the Disney Store Outlet to get Wyatt a prize for sleeping in his own bed for a week. What we didn't plan on was a certain mischevious (albeit adorable) 4 year old undoing everything as we were doing it. So, in desperation, we put in a movie for him to watch so we could get things done.
We finished everything, and off we went to Chocolate World. Had a great time (as always). We came home, and it was so funny...we kinda sat there and stared at each other. If we weren't on our computers, what were we doing? It really reinforced WHY we were unplugging. We started talking, then went outisde to play in the water.
I'm glad we spent a day with no TV or computers. (Well, almost no TV) It was nice. Dare I say...even peaceful.

Going to Hershey

I am SO proud of Wyatt. As all moms know, we never stop loving our children. But there are times when you just...appreciate them more.

Every night before bed we say prayers. First we say the "Nite nite prayer", then the Our Father. We finish by thanking God for what He has given us, then asking Him for what we want. I have never told Wyatt some things are better to ask for than others. I want him to think he can talk to God like He's a friend. Last night, he thanked God for his house, his parents, and his friends. Then my sweet little boy remembered a conversation he had overheard that morning about a good friend of ours who has been down on his luck lately. It was a very brief conversation, but one that made an impression, apparently. He then asked God to help Mr. Rust (Russ) have cars that worked. I have never been more proud of my son than I was then.

Last night Wyatt also did a big thing. For the first time in MONTHS he fell asleep in his own bed BY HIMSELF! He still woke up in the middle of the night and crawled in bed with me (Randy was at work). But still...that was a major step! So, we are going to the Hershey outlets today to go to the Disney Store to get a toy. Maybe we will even go to Chocolate World for lunch. (They have the BEST bread in the Kit Kat Cafe) And if mom gets some chocolate? Well, all the better :)

Some days it would be so hard to figure out ways that I'm NOT blessed.

I'm a Mom.

Ask my son, he'll tell you. I used to be a "worker". I used to be a firefighter. I used to be an EMT. Now, according to him, I'm "just a mom".

Before I got sick, when I was still working, Randy and I had discussed whether I would stay home once we got married. We knew we wanted to try for kids right away, and while pregnant women can certainly function well on an ambulance, it's not the most comfortable career with an extra 20 pounds added on. Randy grew up with a mom who was always home, and he wanted that for his children. Plus, we can both easily admit that I am better at keeping house than he is. We can afford it, and Randy said that if money ever got tight, he would happily take on a 2nd job. Sounds great, right? Well, first of all, I had issues with him working 2 jobs while I (in my mind at the time) didn't work. Secondly, I'd been an EMT for 14 years. I felt that a lot of my identity was tied up in being an EMT. How do I walk away from that? Well, we prayed about it. Shortly thereafter I was told I could never work as an EMT again. What a blow. I mean, I can't be "me" again. But, our choice was taken out of our hands. Of course, as most of you well know, we found the issue to be relatively minor, I had surgery, and now I'm better. Can I go back to work? Absolutely.

I get asked all the time "Now that you're better when are you going back to work?" I just smile and tell whoever asked that I'm staying home for now. Really, inside I'm thinking "Have you ever stayed home to take care of a house and 2 dogs and a 4 year old and a husband?" That, in itself, is a full time job, and one I take a lot of pride in.

I used to come home from work to find dishes all over the kitchen, a child who was clingy for my time, and just "stuff" that needed to be done. I never got to come home and be "off". Which was fine. As a single mom for 3 1/2 years, I was used to it. Did things always get done? No. Was I stressed at home? Yes. Did we have time for Wyatt to get to do all the things he wanted to? Not at all.

Now that I'm home, I find myself constantly working. There's always laundry to be done, a floor to be swept, a counter to be wiped off, and, more importantly, a game to be played, a child to love. I often tell people I'm busier now than I was when I worked outside the home. And I am, but also happier and constantly content. And I'm proud of our home. I know at any given moment someone could knock on our door, and I will happily invite them inside (Unless, of course, they are wearing a ski mask and brandishing a gun...But I don't think the HOA would allow that) Now that I'm home, we can have family time, Randy and I have "date night in", Wyatt seems happier and more secure than ever. Sure, there are some things we go without, but never without love.

Now, let's not pretend there aren't days when I'm ready to scream my head off and I want to go on strike in the fort out back. Those days exist, although not often. But I am so incredibly blessed to have a husband who sees those days when they happen, and he encourages me to take time for myself. And I think that's crucial. I see my son blossoming, and I get to be the one to watch him grow. We get to play games together, look for bugs, battle the monsters under the bed. For the first time, I'm really seeing what life is all about. Yes, I can honestly say I used to save people. I loved it, and truly believe I was good at it. But this, what I do now...this is everything.

Now, when someone asks me what I do for a living, I smile, and proudly say "I'm a Mom" There is just no living better than that.

Pure contentment

First of all, let me say....
Happy Birthday, Sean!!!
OK, now that that's been handled :)
As I'm sitting here typing this, I'm getting a preview of every Tuesday and Thursday for the next 2 months. It's 9:00pm, and sprawled out on my living room floor with blankets and pillows are my 4 year old, my 3 year old niece,and 1 year old nephew. Lights are out, Disney movie is on. Life is good. (Mind you, 20 minutes ago, 1 was in time out, 1 was complaining about having to get ready for bed...it's not always this good, but let me document it while it is) Normally this time of night, we'd be fighting with Wyatt about staying in his bed. But now, with 3 kiddos here, we're "forced" to spend some quiet time together. It's nice. Granted, Randy and I aren't into the movie, we're each on our laptops, but hey...we are spending time together as a family, and, I can only hope, getting a glimpse of our future. Right now it's not about what needs to be done tomorrow, who needs to go to the store, what needs to be done before the Open House, the dogs, the chores, but just...relaxing, with family. And really, what can be more important than that?

I think, and I'm saying it here and now for the blogging world (so hold me to it you annonymous readers!) that I'm going to declare a weekly "unplugged" day. One day, every week, we are going to unplug. No computers, no TV, just...us. Think we can do it? We shall see. We've already decided that once we move we won't be hooking up sattelite/cable in the living room at the new house. Yes, there will be a TV, but with a limit of 1 movie a day. We will still have satellite/DVR in our bedroom, for those few shows we just HAVE to watch. The primary show for both of us is 18 Kids And Counting. I have to say, Michelle Duggar is a wonderful inspiration. She keeps herself calm, I have NEVER seen her yell, she has tremendous faith, and those kids are the most well behaved children I've seen. Granted, we dont' know how they behave when the cameras stop rolling, but I don't think that's an act.

Anyway, I digress. Family really is the most important thing. I think we all need to take some time to sit back and remember that. Noone knows what tomorrow will bring, and don't we all want to be able to say that those we love won't ever have to question how we feel?

Speaking of which....(and this is NOT directed at my husband, for the record) Husbands, don't just tell your wives you love them. You have to show them. Make them feel pretty. Because they desesrve it. And your children desesrve to know what love is. Being a good parent is more than providing tangible things. It's also teaching your children what love and happiness is. And the best way to teach a child is to show them. Whatever it takes, show your child true love and happiness. Sometimes being a good parent means giving up the things other people see as sources of security in order to find that happiness. We are examples for our children, and we need to behave as such.
*Disclaimer...I am not advocating living in a cardboard box to "find yourself"....I am just saying to follow your heart. Everything else will fall into place

So very very blessed

There are some times that I look around and just cannot believe how truly blessed I am. To say that I haven't always made the best decisions would be putting things pretty mildly. Yet, all of those decisions have brought me where I am.
I have the most amazing husband. He loves Wyatt just like he was his own. If it wasnt' for the blonde hair and blue eyes Wyatt has and the fact that Randy and I have dark features, you would NEVER guess that Wyatt isn't biologically Randy's. That offers a security to me that is invaluble. This morning all I've heard are giggles from Wyatt. I used to dream of the day when my son would have a father to love him, someone to play with him, make him laugh, and teach him how to be a man. I couldn't have asked for someone better. And the bonus? He loves me too.
Randy is one of those rare husbands who not only wants his wife to stay home, but he understands and appreciates both what I give up (gladly) to do so, and how much I do around the house. That's not to say that there aren't days I put on a movie for Wyatt and immerse myself in something totally non-productive, but that's becoming the exception. Randy goes out of his way to make me happy and keep me comfortable. I try to do the same for him, I can only pray that I'm successful.

I can't be rescued...I haven't had my coffee yet!

I am a firm believer that every person needs a little bit of time to themselves everyday to "recharge". Usually I get my "me time" first thing in the morning while the rest of the house is sleeping (In the shower you say? Clearly you dont' have young children at home...the sound of the water is an open invitation to them to need something NOW) Typically I use my time to drink my first cup of coffee peacefully and check the internet and maybe even play a game online. Typically that's all I have time to do....but it's enough.
Well...this morning didn't quite turn out that way. It's been a rough week in our house with 2 sick puppies. So I slept in this morning. (Although, since I became a mom, I've discovered sleeping in is a relative term) I woke up at about 6:30, when a foot found it's way into my mouth. Little boy piggies do not make a yummy breakfast. So I quietly pulled myself out of bed, hoping not to disturb the tornado that was still sleeping. My foot touched the floor...and I heard it.
"Mommy, is it sunny outside yet?" Well, there is just no fooling this particular 4 year old, so I conceeded. Down the stairs we came. I have the greatest coffee maker ever...Put the coffee pod in, push a button, and voila...coffee. Fresh, hot, caffinated goodness. Before the coffee maker even had time to make it's first gurgle, I got tackled from behind.
"Mom, the house is on fire, I need to rescue you!" Really? Can't I just have coffee first? C'mon....just 5 minutes for coffee....Just ONE sip? Please? Nope...not today. As I get dragged off to the "safe spot" I gaze longingly at the coffee counter, looking at the steam rise from the cup with Dorothy and Toto on the front and think that, for now, the smell will have to be enough.
I may be setting the alarm tomorrow

Alright, so....since Randy and I have so many family members all over the country, we decided this would be the best way to keep everyone updated on what's going on in our lives.
We've been married for a month now. This is a busy month....Trying to squeeze in last minute vacations, trying to get caught up on the dogs' training now that I have energy (WOO HOO!), getting Wyatt ready to go back to school, and, the icing on the cake, we have our house on the market. Phew! Are you tired yet? I am, just thinking about it!
This year, for preschool, I think Wyatt is going to go to a church-based preschool, and I will supplement with homeschooling. He is having SO much fun playing soccer. We bought his cleats the other day, and they looked SO little! I can't believe how involved he is getting with things. I think it's great. Keeps me busy! We can't wait to give him a baby brother or sister. Soon, we hope!