Today's a big day :)

Well, hello everyone. Yeah, yeah, I've failed at blogging every day. I just plain haven't felt like it.

So, what can I tell you today...I've lost, in 3 weeks, a total of 9.2 pounds. WAHOO!!! And I really haven't felt hungry, or looked at something and said "Man, I really want that, but I can't have it". Let me just tell you...If I've wanted something, I've eaten it. This is the best diet ever. It's not even really a diet, it's more of a lifestyle change.

I start a new job today!!! I can't remember if I blogged about the one I was offered in the next town over...calling insurance companies (exciting...NOT), working PT...well, I was so stressed, because it would have paid for gas, and maybe after school care for Wyatt, but nothing else, but I hated turning down a job. Well, the day before I was offered that one, I was offered a full time job, in town, working as a medical assistant. PERFECT!!! Thank you, Lord! The best part is that I get off early Wednesdays (perfect for church) and Fridays (Need I say more?) I am sooo excited. Dad goes to this doctor, and he, along with everyone else I've talked to, has said that it's not an easy doctor to work for, that I will be so busy. Honestly, I'm ok with that. It will make the day go by faster, and the pounds come off easier. (I know, I know, more easily, but, really, easier flowed better) I couldn't sleep very well last night, I was so scared I would oversleep. Don't you hate that?

Happy Monday!

So I have decided

in my completely sleepy haze this morning that I am going to finish the Love Dare. Just because Randy might be ready to check out of our marriage, I'm not. The things worth having are never easy.

On another note...Isn't it funny how, when you really need to hear a message from God, He gives it to you in so many different ways? I think I may have posted about this before. It just seems to be happening more and more frequently lately.

I know my blogs have been short, and not written every day. I'm working on that, I promise. I just think I should have things worthy of writing about.

I'm trying to find out what I have to do to have Wyatt vaccine exempt for school. I stopped vaccinating at 4. (He didn't get his 4 year old vaccines) Thanks to a wonderful group of my friends, I've seen the harm that vaccines can do, both short and long term. I've also seen some of the lists of ingredients. That is scary stuff. I'm glad I'm able to make a change for the better for my son. I should probably do a post about that too. Hmmm....

Here I am :)

OK, so...there's lots to blog about.

First, the good stuff. My weight is down 6 pounds since starting Weight Watchers. YEAH!!! 6 pounds in 2 weeks, and I really don't feel at all deprived, I can eat whatever I want (And I didn't give up coffee) I even (looks around secretly) ate a bag of peanut butter cups this week. Seriously. This is the Best. Diet. Ever.

If you're a Love Dare blog follower, you've probably noticed I haven't updated it. Well, there's a reason. Randy does want to go back to PA. So, right wrong or indifferent, I'm kinda backing my heart out so that I can deal with it more easily. This whole divorce thing was my idea, but had really wanted to make it work.

I had a job interview last week. The office manager seemed pretty nice, so I think I will like working there. I have the after school care all set up for Wyatt, now I just have to figure out what to do for vacations. I know I will figure something out. I really believe God will provide. Hopefully I get the job. It's in the next town, so that part I don't really like, but it is what it is.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

You remember that dream Wyatt didn't have about snakes? Well, yeah, he had it. I asked him as he was first waking up if he remembered having a dream. He told me that he was looking for ghosts and he looked in the bathroom. There was a big snake in there. But it didn't bite him. It wrapped around his neck twice. He said he called for help, but I didn't get there in time. Yup. Pretty sure a piece of my heart broke off on that one.

Let me just tell you about my night last night. Well, morning I guess I should say. For those that don't know, our house is a doublewide. I hate saying that. It's so cute, and not at all rednecky. At least I don't think so. But hey, it's paid for, so no judging. Anyway, I woke up at about 2 am. Wyatt had climbed in my bed at some point and was sound asleep, so that wasn't it. As I laid there trying to go back to sleep, which seemed entirely possible, I heard a cat howling from my bathroom. I walked in, turned on the bright, glaring light, and didn't see anything. If not for the fact that my german shepherd was going bonkers, I would have thought I imagined it. SO I opened the cabinet doors, and nothing popped out. Then I figured out it was coming from the walls of my bathtub. Like, inside them. So I pulled back a panel, my heart pounding, and there, was Halli. Rotten animal. I locked Mocha up so Halli wouldn't hiss and spit and claw at my arms, went back, scooped her up and put her hiney back outside. Then I couldn't sleep. If she can get in there, that means lots of other things can get in there. Oy.

On another note....today is my coffee date with Nancy! I really shouldn't spend the money, but I need the girl time. I will get a small something :D I'm excited!!!

Grumble mumbe urgh (In other words, good morning)

yawn streeeeeetch

Mornin' y'all. Goodness I am feeling it this morning. Of course that might have something to do with the fact that I was tossing and turning until Midnite (And yes, I know the time, because, um, there was a movie on my TV bedroom...I KNOW I KNOW) Then Wyatt came in my room at 2am. Of course, he didn't come in, lay down and go to sleep. Nooooo. He came in, cuddled his freezing piggies against my leg, and when I tried to scratch his back, he said it felt like snakes, like in his nightmare. Now, before y'all get all gooey and say "Oh, poor baby (Meaning Wyatt, not me)", let me just tell you this...My child knows how to manipulate people. He knew he was waking me up. He knows I'm a bear when such happens. He was pulling at my heartstrings! Not like he woke up screaming. But I cuddled him until he fell asleep. Then I laid awake. For. A. Long. Time.

On a totally different note....We went to my dad's for dinner last night. After dinner, my Dad and Wyatt played hide and seek in the house. Yeah yeah, fun fun....But then my dad hid with this really scary bear hat on. Wyatt knew he had the hat on, but was still scared. He was laughing though. (Oh my Bob, this is turning into a "Let's all get a good laugh out of my son's fears" post. Rest assured, Wyatt was laughing more than anyone else! Then Wyatt made me help him find the scary bear, who jumped out of a closet and scared us all. The way Wyatt's face lit up was priceless. After we said prayers last night, when I asked Wyatt what the best part of the day was, he said "Catching the bear at Granddaddy's. That was so fun, Mom! My family's the best".

Indeed, son. Indeed.

A few different things

First...YAY!!! Adam is getting better! He took a turn for the worse yesterday, but then started improving. He had a blood transfusion last night, so hopefully that will help things improve even more.

Not sure what else to write about....Yesterday Wyatt asked me why he didn't have school today. I explained to him who Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was and what he did for this country. Well, as best I can explain it to a 5 year old. It makes me wonder...I remember learning about Dr King when I was in Kindergarten. Is Wyatt not learning because of the demographics of our area? Or is it because it's been another 25 years? (Well, not really. I'm young. I had him when I was 15. Honest) But, really...Why? Has time dulled so much that it's not important anymore? Or is it just that teachers now have no connection to the events? I really have to believe that, with time and social media, our reactions dull. It really REALLY hurts to see so few people caring about 9-11 anymore. I make it a point to dress Wyatt in patriotic colors that day, and I'm always the only one who does. What happened to us? We were so cohesive after 9-11. Where has it gone? When you drive through your neighborhood, how often do you see an American flag? (And, yes, I do have one displayed)

Hmmm...apparently there was somethign in there for me to write about. Ah well, lots to do today. Our newest cat was caught peeing in the house last night, so she's outside today. I feel awful, but I've worked with her a lot, and I just can't have an animal distroying my home. That's where I draw the line. She's still ours if she wants to be, we will set up a cat house and food for her, but that's it. She HATES dogs, which I can understand as she was an outside cat for 4 months before she was given to us. But she's already hurt me and Wyatt several times because of her fear. So, outside she goes. At least I had her long enough to get her shots, fix her tail, and put some weight on her. I hope she still comes around, I want to take care of her still, just not inside.

Y'all have a good day

My Love Dare

I set up a separate blog for that.

http://beinghiswife.blogspot.com/

Feel free to walk on this journey with me.

So here we go

Well, I lost weight. Not as much as I expected, but at least the numbers on the scale are going in the right direction.

Today, 3 years ago, a very very special soul went to Heaven. I just want to take a moment to remember that, and to remind moms that even though your kiddos may make you bonkers, they are still yours, and they are amazing wonderful miraculous gifts from God. And even if your arms are empty, you are still a Mom in your heart. God does have a plan, even if we don't always understand it.

My step-mom and I were going through wedding pictures last night. Just a year and a half ago things were so different. The infertility has been in my head a lot lately...of course, so many people I know have had babies in the last month, and so many more are pregnant. I saw a video this morning that really hit home. But, I need to put all that in the back of my mind. My marriage is the most important thing. That has to get fixed before anything else. And I need to know, for me, that my reasons for staying are the right ones. Not because it's easy, or for Wyatt, or because Randy's such a good guy.

This morning is church. Hopefully it goes a little more smoothly this morning than last time, when I lost Wyatt. I do love our church so much. It's time to get ready :)

Happy Sunday y'all!

Infertility and it's effects on my marriage

It seems that anyone who knows I'm having marital problems who also knows that I've had infertility problems (I still REALLY hate that word) seems to ask if one has anything to do with the other.

I certainly can't begin to pretend to know how any other couple reacts to infertility. Or anything else, for that matter. When I look back, after the last negative test, is when I really started to care less about my marriage, and, let's be honest here, pay more attention to outside influences. I never really put the 2 together until now. I had always sworn, once I knew getting pregnant wasn't going to be as easy as I thought, that we wouldn't be one of those couples. And really, I didn't think the negative tests affected me that much...I mean, for me, that was the norm. When I let myself believe I saw a 2nd line, even when Randy saw it, I was so excited, but still felt like it was too good to be true (Being right all thetime is sooo overrated)

So now I'm sitting here wondering if that's not what drove a wedge. Or, well, at least what allowed me to open my mind up to other possibilities. I really do struggle with this. I mean, I am Christian, and I really don't believe divorce should be an option, with a few rare exceptions. I really do feel like maybe I should try harder to make it work. I think that if I do, I will keep it from him. I just don't want to get his hopes up to crush them. This will mean that I have to watch what I expose myself too.

Every marriage has trouble. I think that if you are ready to leave at the first sign, then that's not fair. That defeats the purpose of marriage to begin with. We had some minor problems, and did fine. But the first major problem...not just being "infertile" but actually having infertility treatments NOT work, well...that's pretty major, especially when it's something we both wanted more than anything.

I say we both wanted it. Really? I know I did. I can't say that I know he did. Maybe I'm fooling myself. Knowing that, financially, the treatments aren't an option now, I can focus on us and what we have, vs what I wish we had.

How does this affect my eggs? (Ha ha...the metaphorical ones, not the anatomical ones) Well...honestly, I think part of me has been listening to how other people's eggs taste. Not just significant others', but even girl friends, or people who write articles for women's magaizines. I mean, if this lady writes about how her heart still skips a beat when her husband walks in the room...then something must be wrong with my marriage if that doesn't happen.

Now that he's working, and I know what I can do to change some things, maybe it will get better. Maybe not. But I think I owe it to myself, my marriage, and God to try.

A quick update

I didn't want to put this in my randomness blog.

To all of you who have prayed for my friend's son, Adam, I wanted to let you all know. He is showing some improvement. His fever is down, and his chest X-ray is clearing up. They are baby steps on the path to getting better, but at least his moving in the right direction.

Thank you all for your prayers, and please continue to pray

Bwaha! Lots of randomness today

I found one! I found one! Oh...I guess you probably want to know what it was. Not a brain cell, I'm still missing several of those. I found an MS walk. And it's in Myrtle Beach. You'd better believe my happy ass will be there May 1. Ummm...butt. My happy butt will be there. If you can, I'd love for you to join us. I am Captain of our team (Who gave me responsibility?) To join our team or donate, go to this page http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Walk/NCPWalkEvents?px=9005812&pg=personal&fr_id=16320

So...I've really been thinking. I don't need to fit into a box. I CAN'T fit into a box. I always thought that I had to be this person who fit into a pretty little box with a bow and a nice little label. If I was a Christian wife, then I needed to act like one. No going out, no cursing, no drinking. Now, I will grant you, I don't curse much. Rarely, really. But I digress...I'm slowly learning that I don't need to fit into that box, or any other. The only thing I need to be is ME. I don't have to answer to anyone, except for God on Judgment Day. Until then, I live the best that I can, but I don't have to give up my personality. I'm me, after all. I happen to think I make a pretty good me. That's my new label...ME

Morning, everyone!!

Good grief, it was hard to get out of bed this morning. I am hurting. Lots to do today though. I have to go to a doctor's office to fill out an application...I'm not sure how I feel about it, because it is a hair further from home than I would like...but I don't really feel like I'm in a position to be picky, either. Honestly, I'd just be grateful to have a job. Especially one that is in a medical office. We will see. I mean, it's certainly not like they've even offered it to me.

Still not working out yet. I know that I feel better when I'm moving, but I'm certainly not going to work out. I will wait until I'm pain free for that. Since I have to go into a bigger town today, maybe I will just go walk around the mall for a little while to let my hip loosen up. I know I really have nothing to complain about, so many people have it far worse, but I really want to get back into working out! You know, though, yesterday I read something that says you should only make one major change at a time. So maybe this is meant to slow me down until I get back in the point counting groove.

I am pretty upset about something. I have several friends with MS, one who is my weekly coffee date. Yesterday I attempted to register for an MS walk, and found that the closest one is over 2 hours away. I emailed our local chapter office to see what we can do to have one closer, and I haven't heard anything back. It may be too late for this year anyway, we may have to wait until next year. I do think I will sign up for the one in GA. What is a 2 hour drive compared to what so many people are going through? I really think we need to raise awareness. This is a horrible disease, and watching my friend cry because she can't stay after church for Sunday small groups just breaks my heart. I will keep y'all posted on that.

I'm comin' I'm comin'

OK, so I didn't forget to blog today. I've just been trying to think of what to blog about.

I totally missed church last night. I hate that. I do feel much better after I go. Stupid back.

I'm keeping my WW points down today. I'm going to an in home party tonight, so I want to conserve those suckers! I didn't use my weekly points yet, since I had planned to use them for the church supper last night.

I'm excited. One of the girls I've met at church and I have made plans to have a standing coffee date every Wednesday morning. I'm so excited about it. Coffee and a girlfriend. Could it get any better?

Can you tell I'm really trying to fill this in with mindless chatter?

Why is it that employers get your resume, then you wait. And wait. And wait. Then you interview. And wait. And wait. And wait. And this is SC, where they move slower than molassess. So there's extra waiting.

Talk about an eye opener...

So the other day I took my "before" picture. I didn't suck it in, I relaxed, stood like I normally do...I even was wearing a pair of shorts and a sports bra. No worries! I'm not posting it, so no need to cover your eyes and scream. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. But I needed to see it. I needed to see that this is how I look, and I KNOW I want to look (and feel) better. I even did all my measurements.
Now, don't laugh, but this morning I pulled a muscle. In my butt. Doing hula hoops for Wii. Shameful, really. Stop laughing!
So a friend called, and I have a potential lead for a job. We will see how it goes! Keep your fingers crossed, pray, whatever... I really have mixed emotions. Yes, I need a job. But I really REALLY love staying home. No, I don't sit all day, I do stuff around the house, so it's not laziness. But I like cooking, I like being the one picking Wyatt up from school and helping him with homework. I know all moms enjoy the same things, but I really have been happier than ever doing that. It's just not an option anymore.

Hey, Snotface!

Yeah, you! You know who I'm talking to! Happy Birthday. I wish I could be there to celebrate it with glitter, ribbon, and glue, but oh well. I'm there in spirit. Girl, you and I have had our ups and downs. We probably have the most interesting "How we met" story EVER. But we got over that, and now we're like sisters. We are more alike than I think either of us want to admit to, but I'm ok with that. I miss you, and wish we were closer. We will have to plan a retreat soon! (Ahem, there is that one in Myrtle in February...hint hint). Here's to "Love you bunches", luggage carts, natural disasters, pumpkin painting, coffee, squirreling nursing home calls, "Do you both really have the same name...first and middle?", shopping in slippers, the McDonalds drive thru (The ambulance fits, I swear it!)...all tied up with ribbon and sprinkled with glitter.
Have a good one, girl

Please pray

A friend's son, who is only 3 years old, is in very critical condition. He was diagnosed with Leukemia some time ago, and is fighting an infection. Last I heard, he had experienced severe respiratory distress and they had to intubate him. He's now breathing on a ventilator. Please, if you believe in God, say a prayer. If you don't send positive thoughts his way. This little guy has already had to endure so much, and he's already proven himself to be a tremendous fighter.

Like other parents, I can't imagine what his parents are going through or how they feel.

Lord, please put your hands on Adam and his family now. Give Adam the strength he needs. Please be with Chris and Jamie as they need you. Let them know You are there giving them comfort and peace, as well as a strength of their own. Please give the doctors knowledge and sensitivity. Lord, You are the ultimate physician. We don't know Your will, but be with everyone who loves Adam in the days to come. Amen.

Attempting this whole blogging at night thing....

Maybe it will be more interesting? Who knows. I would like people to note this is THREE blogs in one day! HA! Betcha never thought I could do it did you? Of course, if you've read all 3 in one sitting, I probably need to get you some coffee.

Wyatt has a 2 hour delay tomorrow. Really? I can't figure out what for. Pure insanity. There isn't even ice on our cars. Nuts nuts nuts.

So, what is love? I've been told that love is a choice, which would mean you chose who you love. But it's not always that easy. Doesn't there have to be something? I do have kind feelings towards Randy, but...as much as I sometimes wish I did, I dont love him. I've tried, honestly I have. And I know (hope) that we will always be friends. There is no ill will. I just wish I could make it more. But more often than not it seems like we don't even have anything to talk about.

Anyway, this wasn't supposed to be one of THOSE entries.

OH!!! I got ALL the pictures on one of the memory cards uploaded! WAHOO!! They are also organized by album. Tomorrow I will start the other memory card. Progress! And if it wasn't for the fact that I blog about it, and therefore feel accountable, I never would have finished it. So for all you readers out there (both of you!) thanks :)

One of my favorite movies is on....Where The Heart Is. I love this movie. A lot. I shall watch it. Perhaps I will check in with y'all tomorrow!

How do you keep your children safe?

I do everything I can to keep my son safe. He's 5 and still in a carseat with a 5 point harness. I don't put his coat on in the car, at least not under his harness. I taught him to look both ways before he crosses the street. He knows his address and phone number and how to call 911. He even knows how to use a fire extinguisher. (Although that's more his obsession with fire fighters than safety) We have a fire escape plan. He wears a helmet when he rides his bike. I like to think that we are pretty safe.

So what do I do next? Am I supposed to keep him away from all the government institutions? It's not only the fear of him being hurt, but seeing something no child should ever have to see. I know that when we chose to move here, part of it was a safety and security issue. But no place is safe or completely crime free. How do you let your child be a child and have fun and learn things and have new experiences? I want to keep him in bubblewrap and a blind fold and never take him out of the house. That's not a childhood. I can't shelter him too much, I want him to have a love for learning that only comes from getting off your hiney and getting out of the house. I want him to experience history in a way that can only be done by visiting monuments and historical sites. But what do you do when you fear that those very sites are potential targets? Where is the balance? How do I keep him safe without making him more afraid?

A very beautiful young lady lost her life at 9 years old. She wanted to know more about the legislative process, and she was murdered. It almost makes it more tragic because of her birthday. 9-11-01

I know the only thing we can do is live life. We use caution, but we still live. Because to hide in our homes and live in fear means the bad guys win. And as Wyatt will say, "We gotta get those bad guys, Mom!"

Yet again...

We have a snow day. Really? There was far more grass than snow yesterday. I guess they don't have the equipment to make sure the roads are safe. This is insane. I'm glad Wyatt's home for another day, but it does mess with my routine. It would be nice if he'd sleep past 5:30 so I could at least have my "me" time in the morning. Ah well. These days won't be here forever. One day he will be all grown up and I'll be wishing for them.

Yesterday I changed my work out a little bit to include boxing. It was fun, but I think my arms are going to fall off. Wyatt went to Granddaddy's, so I used that time to get the work out in. I can't wait until it's not so wet outside and I can go back to walking around the yard.

BWAHAHAHAHA I just let the cats out (At their insistence) and 2 of them went running through the door...and slid across the porch. They stopped, looked at me, and poor things were so confused. It was definitely funny though.

Yesterday I really got to thinking. I wish I could make my marriage work. But how do you change your physical feelings for someone? I don't think you can. I've spent the better part of last year trying. There are a lot of things I wish were different, both on my part and his. But I think if we were to change that much, we'd be different people. That's not fair to either of us. I know divorce isn't supposed to be easy, but I really thought if we were at least friends it would be simple, at least emotionally. It's really not. It still hurts, even though I'm not in love. (And I still firmly believe he's not in love with me, he's in love with marriage)

Its....Pajama Day!!!!

Good morning, y'all! They closed school today because a snow cloud sneezed and we got a dusting. Oh, wait, there is more snow falling now, so we will see what happens. Actually, I really don't blame them. We are supposed to get a lot of ice accumulation too, and last time that happened, people didn't have power for days. (So, um, that means no blog, just so you know) I have a well. Did you know you can't run water with no power when you have a well? Think about that for a minute...

Today is pajama and movie day, assuming we keep power. If it goes out for a while, then we will make the loooong trek over to Granddad's (He has a generator, thus, flushable toilets...and heat!) I do love days like this. This is why I no longer want to work EMS. I can stay home, curl up with the boy, some hot chocolate and books and movies.

So I did really well with Weight Watchers yesterday. I was able to stay exactly where I was supposed to with points. I remember last time it was hard, because I had left over points at the end of the day and had to binge to get them in. I do think I like this new Points Plus plan. It seems healthier. Plus, if I'm really hungry, I can eat fruit for 0 points, where before it would be at least one. I'm liking it so far!!! (She says optimistically on day 2)

I think today I will work on uploading pictures. Wyatt is doing his own thing for the moment, so I might as well do mine.

Pure laziness

I am feeling totally lazy. Of course, it's the second day of...you know....and, well, since we did those fertility treatments, the cramps are HORRIBLE. I can barely get off the couch, and that's with meds. It's always day 2. Ugh

On another note. this is day 1 of officially tracking points. So far, I'm doing well! (Ha...it's only 7:50) But I have had to cut back on the stuff I put in my coffee. Well, I decided to. I don't have to. But I am. It really can't hurt, right? Right? HELLO!!! Tell me it can't hurt!!!

I hate that I feel this way on a Sunday. I really want to go to church. I hate to miss is, and it allows for a very poor start to my New Years goals.

I did notice when I logged into Weight Watchers that I'm way above my original weight when I started this forever ago. Oops. I'm not proud of that, but I really feel like I need to be honest if I'm going to make this work. But that's ok, it just means it will be a bigger victory when I've lost that much more. I can do it!!! (In the mean time, I will blame the weight gain on fertility meds. Oh, and Facebook. If it wasn't so addicting, I would be sitting on my butt way less) Besides, remember, I'm not working!! I went from a physically demanding job to...well....Facebook. And, ok, it might have something to do with my laziness since we've moved and eating fast food so much. Maybe. But then I have to put the blame with myself, and well....*Sigh* I'm not perfect. There ya have it ;) Don't tell anyone I admitted it. I actually think the weight gain will help put it in perspective for me. I clearly need the direction and the black and white guidelines WW provides.

I feel like I've had ADD this morning.

Wyatt is running around switching batteries from one toy to another. Give this kid a screwdriver, and we're all done for.

Alright. If I'm ever gonna make it to church, I need to get up now. My uterus is protesting, but I'm going. I really feel so much better when I go.

Happy Sunday, y'all!

Sooo...here's the thing

Originally, I had my blog private, as my previous blog was. There are a few certain people who were using the information for their own gains. I'm not certain that one or more of the people who were allowed to view it wasn't one of them, but...either way. I decided to make this blog public. Because, really, I have nothing to hide. I am what I am, and I refuse to make any apologies for that. (Whatever that is, by the way....remember, I'm still figuring that part out)

Ahhhh....ok, so I have yet to journal at night. I really should. This is kinda my journal for the mornings. I've been doing really well with the Bible study, although I wonder if I'm getting what I should out of it. The working out didn't happen yesterday, because I was supposed to help a friend move. So today, back to it! Weight Watchers officially starts tomorrow. They have a whole new program, so I'm trying to figure that out. It's simple, it's just different. I'm excited. I LOVED how I felt when I was on it before. Yesterday I was PMSing, so I got some fries. I felt like a huge grease ball after. Definitely not worth it. But it was a good thing, because it reminded me why I'm doing this. It put a negative spin on french fries that I needed to have in my mind. I intended to upload some pictures yesterday, but, well, that just didn't happen.

We are doing a little experiment. We are shutting off cell phones for a month. We want to see how we survive without them. I was talking to a friend the other day about how 10 years ago, we had bricks that we lugged around. We certainly didn't text. If we wanted someone to know something, we had a conversation! So, we are going without.

So, for those keeping track, we have 6 cats and 3 dogs. The newest cat is named Hali, short for Halligan Bar. Any guesses who came up with that name?

Alright, it's Saturday. Which means there are millions of things that need to be done. Until Monday...

Oh good grief....

So this morning I woke up to the dog vomiting everywhere. I mean, I'll take that over the boy vomiting, but...I'd really much rather wake up to the rooster that hides in my cell phone that usually wakes me up. Could the boy sleep through the excitement? Of course not! This makes 4 mornings this week he's been up since before 5:30. Hide me. No, wait, don't do that...because that means someone, somewhere, will be counting to 10 before they seek.

So, yesterday...I was uber productive. I did day 1 of my Bible study. I jogged, I did arobics. Oh, and I hula hooped. It was all on the Wii, but it's gotta be better than playing Facebook games. And believe me, I was sore. Yay for a big bath tub. I would have walked laps around my yard, but that freezing rain kept me from doing that. (Finally! A reason for freezing rain) I also uploaded some photos and video from my dad's birthday party. See? Productivity. I am awesome. And modest.

Wyatt got his report card. Now, in Kindergarten, the grading system is different. S is Satisfactory, P basically means progressing toward year end goals, and N is Needs Improvement. I am happy to say Wyatt got all S's, except for 2 P's. And those were in Handwriting, which he had N's for last quarter. Go Wyatt!

The job hunt really isn't going anywhere for now. It's so frustrating. I've applied everywhere I can think of. Once I have a job, Randy is moving back to PA.

Which brings me to another point....Even though the separation is a mutual thing, and I'm the one who brought it up, I still have my doubts. It's so hard. But I know my doubts come from the fact that Randy and I really are friends. There's no bitterness, and I truly believe he feels the same way. Plus, I like my life. I like being a housewife and a room mom for Wyatt's class. But those aren't reasons to stay married, right? I just can't see the physical feelings I have for Randy changing at all. I'm completely happy now, when we are in separate bedrooms. But that's not a marriage. And I know that. I don't want Wyatt to think this is what love looks like. I really do wish we could make it work, but I at least know that we've really tried.

New Year...New Me

Well, hey there y'all. Thanks for stopping by :)

I don't make resolutions. I don't really believe in them. I think people set themselves up for failure that way. There are some things about myself I'd like to change along with my new start. Some of them are:

~Do some form of exercize every day
~Keep my house cleaner
~Go to church every week
~Only eat out once a month
~Get (and keep) pictures organized
~Do daily devotionals
~Blog at least 3 times a week
~Keep a nightly journal (for my most personal thoughts)
~Eat healthier in general
~Use my homemakers notebook

Every night one of the things I want to journal about is what I did that day to keep these goals.

Here we go (Again)

Alright, so....I've decided I need to blog. Not for whomever may read it, but for myself. It's a bit of a pain to start all over, choosing a new design, listing websites again, but...I think it's appropriate too, since I'm starting all over myself.

Grab a cup of coffee (or tea, for you more weird friends of mine). Grab a seat, and look around.