Well, today is my pre-op appointment. I'm really trying not to be too terribly nervous. I'm saving that for next week. I'm having an ultrasound done. (I'm not really sure why. I was still in a bit of shock when they scheduled the surgery to ask questions) Then the normal pre-op stuff.
I think the hardest part for me with the surgery will be that they find something. Don't get me wrong, that's what I want. I reaaaalllly want them to find something. Then they can fix it. I will have answers, get rid of a lot of this pain....but I think I will have some anger too. Because the doctors at Hershey put my symptoms on the back burner. They pretty much explained them away as something else entirely. And the mean Dr refused to do this very surgery. That will be hard to deal with if it's what I ended up needing. Not just because of the emotional pain of infertility (although that's part of it) but the physical pain. I know the symptoms have worsened since then, but isn't it their jobs to explore everything, rather than doing half the tests, and then labeling me with "unexplained infertility"?
I'm trying to remind myself that they may not find anything with the surgery. That I will be left with more questions than I have now. There's a line between being positive and being unrealistic.
No comments:
Post a Comment