Surgery update

Well, we definitely didn't get the answer we wanted. We didn't get any answers. Although the GYN did tell Randy that my cervix is awfully hard. Maybe we did get something out of it.

This morning, when I was waiting for surgery, I did get a little nervous. I had a few "I wanna go home" moments. I got pretty scared. But, I closed my eyes, and had a chat with God. I told Him that no matter the outcome, I would still love Him, and I'd still need Him. I prayed for answers, for acceptance, and for peace. In my head I kept hearing "This pain aint gonna last much longer, believe me, this is gonna make you stronger" I couldn't ask for a better song to be stuck in my head.

So how do I feel now? Physically, really sore. My throat hurts, my shoulder hurts (from the gas..don'task why), and my stomach is sore.

Emotionally, I'm somewhat numb. I could cry at the drop of a hat, and that's not like me. I think I've kinda taken the pain of not knowing WHY and pushed it away. Now that Randy has told me what the GYN said, then I feel that, maybe, we have a new direction to move toward. Maybe not. But, right now, I feel "ok"

Spiritually, I actually feel good. I feel an incredible peace. I feel a comfort that I know can only come from Him. Tomorrow may be different, but right now, I feel good spiritually. For that, I thank everyone who said a prayer for me today.