Day one back on the diet....

....and I was foiled by a Pina Colada. Ah well, that's what weekly points are for. I'm right back on the bandwagon. I really want this weight off. I have no excuses. At all.

I'm so not ready to go back to work today. We will be busy, so at least the day should go by pretty quickly. I hope. Tomorrow will be completely insane. I work until 5, and Wyatt's Kindergarten Graduation (sniff sniff) is at 6.

I asked the lady in charge of Womens Ministries at my church if there was a homeschooling group. I was surprised when she said there wasn't, but not so surprised when she said that she's had other people asking about one. So I'm going to help (maybe) start one. I'm excited! I told her I really have no clue what I'm doing, but that I know what it's like to feel isolated, so hopefully we can avoid that.

It's already 73 degrees, and it's not even 6 am yet. Today is shaping up to be a hot one! I gotta remember to bring my fan to work.

Can you tell I'm having a hard time with blogging this morning? No clue what to write about. At all. Ah well.

Back on the bandwagon

I've got to do something, so I'm back to counting points. I thought I could do it without, but I didn't lose anymore. I would gain/lose 2 pounds constantly. So I need to stay on track. I can do this! It helps that I'm walking 2 miles every night. Power walking. In the humidity that is Spring in SC. Plus I've been working in the yard a lot, so it all adds up, baby! This week I'll start Zumba on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I *may* even start going to WW meetings. Maybe I'll go to one and see what it's like. If I don't get anything out of it I can't do online, then it would be pretty pointless. That would make me busier than Wyatt! Meetings on Monday, Zumba Tuesdays, Church Wednesdays, Zumba Thursdays, and T ball Fridays. Phew! I'm tired ;)At least it's summer so there are no Wed night bible studies...That sounds so wrong. But we need some family time! At least I do get off work early Wed and Fri, so there's time then. I definitely want to get an eliptical, or maybe a treadmill. Maybe we can start pricing them. I shall watch for them to go on sale!

I've decided next time we're out of laundry detergent, I'm not going to buy it. I'm going to make it myself. We really need to beef up our savings, so it's time to cut corners anywhere we can. I need to get a clothes line too, because despite the fact that my washer and dryer are both high efficiency machines, I'm sure line drying is cheaper! And it's not like we can't practically do it year round here.

I watched Extreme Couponing last night. It seemed like a lot of what they were doing was stockpiling, which is a bit more than I want to do right now, but I can certainly do some of that! I plan to subscribe to 2 of the Sunday papers today. Maybe even see if I can subscribe to the Sunday Washington Post too...I wonder if they have different coupons? I will have to call one of my friends in MD today to see. I also want to look online for couponing sites. So look for a blog with those links. The really good links I will post to my list of frequently traveled places on the web.

Yeah, I know, I know

It's been a little bit since I've blogged. I've made more time for my Bible Study in the morning, so there has been less time for the computer.

I know I might be speaking too soon, but work really has been going WONDERFULLY this week. Perhaps the doctor is in a better mood after spending a few days in Disney. Let's hope that's the case anyway. And let's hope that better mood lasts a good while.

Wyatt's behavior at school has gone downhill. A lot. I do think some of that has to do with me not being home, and I was afraid of this. But we will adjust. Lots of kids have moms who work. And I think, in the long term, it really will be better. I will be happier, and that will reflect in him. Plus, he's just at that age. I do think our time together has more quality to it now than it did before. Plus, lately, it seems that he's getting up as early as I am, so he's tired. And that certainly doesn't improve his behavior at all. Yesterday, he got home from school, and within 5 minutes he was sleeping. He doesn't take naps. Ever. I'm half tempted to keep him home from school today to give him a day to just regroup, but he has a 3 day weekend coming up. However, I am letting him sleep as late as he wants. Normally by now he would have been up for half hour. He's still out. I'm letting him stay that way. Poor kiddo. Once he gets up, he's not going to be rushed getting ready for school either. He needs to just take his time. I feel rotten for the poor kiddo.

I've been slacking on tracking points since I've been working. It's so easy to just grab lunch with the other girls. Well, maybe no easy, but definitely more fun. I need to get back in my groove. And I need to start working out again. I just felt so much better. I'm excited because it's supposed to be in the 70s for the next couple of days, so we are going to get out and do stuff. Maybe Saturday I will even take Wyatt to the beach. We won't be able to get in the water, but it will be nice to be there. Just to take it all in. I'll have to check the weather.

Today's a big day :)

Well, hello everyone. Yeah, yeah, I've failed at blogging every day. I just plain haven't felt like it.

So, what can I tell you today...I've lost, in 3 weeks, a total of 9.2 pounds. WAHOO!!! And I really haven't felt hungry, or looked at something and said "Man, I really want that, but I can't have it". Let me just tell you...If I've wanted something, I've eaten it. This is the best diet ever. It's not even really a diet, it's more of a lifestyle change.

I start a new job today!!! I can't remember if I blogged about the one I was offered in the next town over...calling insurance companies (exciting...NOT), working PT...well, I was so stressed, because it would have paid for gas, and maybe after school care for Wyatt, but nothing else, but I hated turning down a job. Well, the day before I was offered that one, I was offered a full time job, in town, working as a medical assistant. PERFECT!!! Thank you, Lord! The best part is that I get off early Wednesdays (perfect for church) and Fridays (Need I say more?) I am sooo excited. Dad goes to this doctor, and he, along with everyone else I've talked to, has said that it's not an easy doctor to work for, that I will be so busy. Honestly, I'm ok with that. It will make the day go by faster, and the pounds come off easier. (I know, I know, more easily, but, really, easier flowed better) I couldn't sleep very well last night, I was so scared I would oversleep. Don't you hate that?

Happy Monday!

Here I am :)

OK, so...there's lots to blog about.

First, the good stuff. My weight is down 6 pounds since starting Weight Watchers. YEAH!!! 6 pounds in 2 weeks, and I really don't feel at all deprived, I can eat whatever I want (And I didn't give up coffee) I even (looks around secretly) ate a bag of peanut butter cups this week. Seriously. This is the Best. Diet. Ever.

If you're a Love Dare blog follower, you've probably noticed I haven't updated it. Well, there's a reason. Randy does want to go back to PA. So, right wrong or indifferent, I'm kinda backing my heart out so that I can deal with it more easily. This whole divorce thing was my idea, but had really wanted to make it work.

I had a job interview last week. The office manager seemed pretty nice, so I think I will like working there. I have the after school care all set up for Wyatt, now I just have to figure out what to do for vacations. I know I will figure something out. I really believe God will provide. Hopefully I get the job. It's in the next town, so that part I don't really like, but it is what it is.

I'm comin' I'm comin'

OK, so I didn't forget to blog today. I've just been trying to think of what to blog about.

I totally missed church last night. I hate that. I do feel much better after I go. Stupid back.

I'm keeping my WW points down today. I'm going to an in home party tonight, so I want to conserve those suckers! I didn't use my weekly points yet, since I had planned to use them for the church supper last night.

I'm excited. One of the girls I've met at church and I have made plans to have a standing coffee date every Wednesday morning. I'm so excited about it. Coffee and a girlfriend. Could it get any better?

Can you tell I'm really trying to fill this in with mindless chatter?

Why is it that employers get your resume, then you wait. And wait. And wait. Then you interview. And wait. And wait. And wait. And this is SC, where they move slower than molassess. So there's extra waiting.

Talk about an eye opener...

So the other day I took my "before" picture. I didn't suck it in, I relaxed, stood like I normally do...I even was wearing a pair of shorts and a sports bra. No worries! I'm not posting it, so no need to cover your eyes and scream. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. But I needed to see it. I needed to see that this is how I look, and I KNOW I want to look (and feel) better. I even did all my measurements.
Now, don't laugh, but this morning I pulled a muscle. In my butt. Doing hula hoops for Wii. Shameful, really. Stop laughing!
So a friend called, and I have a potential lead for a job. We will see how it goes! Keep your fingers crossed, pray, whatever... I really have mixed emotions. Yes, I need a job. But I really REALLY love staying home. No, I don't sit all day, I do stuff around the house, so it's not laziness. But I like cooking, I like being the one picking Wyatt up from school and helping him with homework. I know all moms enjoy the same things, but I really have been happier than ever doing that. It's just not an option anymore.

Its....Pajama Day!!!!

Good morning, y'all! They closed school today because a snow cloud sneezed and we got a dusting. Oh, wait, there is more snow falling now, so we will see what happens. Actually, I really don't blame them. We are supposed to get a lot of ice accumulation too, and last time that happened, people didn't have power for days. (So, um, that means no blog, just so you know) I have a well. Did you know you can't run water with no power when you have a well? Think about that for a minute...

Today is pajama and movie day, assuming we keep power. If it goes out for a while, then we will make the loooong trek over to Granddad's (He has a generator, thus, flushable toilets...and heat!) I do love days like this. This is why I no longer want to work EMS. I can stay home, curl up with the boy, some hot chocolate and books and movies.

So I did really well with Weight Watchers yesterday. I was able to stay exactly where I was supposed to with points. I remember last time it was hard, because I had left over points at the end of the day and had to binge to get them in. I do think I like this new Points Plus plan. It seems healthier. Plus, if I'm really hungry, I can eat fruit for 0 points, where before it would be at least one. I'm liking it so far!!! (She says optimistically on day 2)

I think today I will work on uploading pictures. Wyatt is doing his own thing for the moment, so I might as well do mine.

Pure laziness

I am feeling totally lazy. Of course, it's the second day of...you know....and, well, since we did those fertility treatments, the cramps are HORRIBLE. I can barely get off the couch, and that's with meds. It's always day 2. Ugh

On another note. this is day 1 of officially tracking points. So far, I'm doing well! (Ha...it's only 7:50) But I have had to cut back on the stuff I put in my coffee. Well, I decided to. I don't have to. But I am. It really can't hurt, right? Right? HELLO!!! Tell me it can't hurt!!!

I hate that I feel this way on a Sunday. I really want to go to church. I hate to miss is, and it allows for a very poor start to my New Years goals.

I did notice when I logged into Weight Watchers that I'm way above my original weight when I started this forever ago. Oops. I'm not proud of that, but I really feel like I need to be honest if I'm going to make this work. But that's ok, it just means it will be a bigger victory when I've lost that much more. I can do it!!! (In the mean time, I will blame the weight gain on fertility meds. Oh, and Facebook. If it wasn't so addicting, I would be sitting on my butt way less) Besides, remember, I'm not working!! I went from a physically demanding job to...well....Facebook. And, ok, it might have something to do with my laziness since we've moved and eating fast food so much. Maybe. But then I have to put the blame with myself, and well....*Sigh* I'm not perfect. There ya have it ;) Don't tell anyone I admitted it. I actually think the weight gain will help put it in perspective for me. I clearly need the direction and the black and white guidelines WW provides.

I feel like I've had ADD this morning.

Wyatt is running around switching batteries from one toy to another. Give this kid a screwdriver, and we're all done for.

Alright. If I'm ever gonna make it to church, I need to get up now. My uterus is protesting, but I'm going. I really feel so much better when I go.

Happy Sunday, y'all!

Apparently, I've been missed!

I have not one single special thing to type. Yet, some crazy woman is hounding me on facebook to update, so....here it is.

My house has, actually, stayed clean the past few days. Which is good, because I got one of those "Someone wants to come see your house and they can be there in an hour" kind of calls yesterday. Which is good. I was stressing that noone had wanted to see it yet.

Hey, did you know coffee can be bad for you? I had my coffee delivery yesterday (not a big deal, really...we order it so we can get the flavors we want and it's cheaper) Well, as I was coming inside, the screen door slammed on the back of my foot. It was NOT pretty, and I am not proud of my reaction, or the things I said in front of Wyatt. Oops.

Sooo....I'm thinking about getting a membership to one of the local pools. Yes, we just got season passes to Hershey Park, but there are days, like today, where if we go, we have to be home early because one of us has to work. And I don't want to tear Wyatt away from having fun. That's just too stressful. So, the pool would be a perfect solution. I hate that Wyatt wants to stay inside and play Wii or on the computer. Get out! Play!

We are going to SC in a couple of weeks. I think we need another vacation though. That's not really going to be a good one....we have too much we HAVE to do down there for it to really count, ya know? I'm thinking maybe Williamsburg in the Fall. The downside to that is if we are in SC, Randy will have just started a new job (hopefully) and it's too soon to ask for time off. (Can I take a minute to point out a benefit to homeschooling? A vacation to Williamsburg becomes a field trip. Ha!)

I cannot believe how easy Weight Watchers is! I have "cheated" a few times, and I'm still losing weight. It almost seems like a no fail diet. I don't go to meetings, I just do the online stuff. I may start going though, just for the socialization with other (non EMS) grown ups. And, I'm joining the Y. (What do you mean you 've heard that before? I don't know what you're talking about)

Thank GOODNESS for the autosave feature, since Wyatt just turned the computer off accidently. If this wasn't autosaved, there would be no blog today.

Well, Randy and I talked while the computer was restarting, and we decided to just go buy a blow up pool to keep here. Not a dinky 2 or 3 ring one, maybe one of those that has the ring you blow up, and the more water you add, the higher the ring goes...I don't know. I guess we're going to go look.

On that note, I need to go get the cat unstuck from the chair. *Sigh* Our next house will have a padded room

Diets and all that crap

It's not like Weight Watchers is a difficult diet. So why am I having so many problems sticking with it? I'll tell you why...It's that dreaded shift work. We get a call at 3am, my partner wants hot dogs from Sheetz, and I get nothing. I don't even LIKE hot dogs, but at 3 am, they look so yummy...and smelling them makes my tummy rumble. However, watching said partner snarf them down does make them slightly less appealing. I could very easily get something if I wanted, but I know those points would taste so much better being spent on ice cream in the afternoon. Besides, isn't it all about learning better eating habits? See, really, being a stay at home mom is better for my health!!!

Plus, I'd get to wear flip flops. All. The. Time.

So, apparently, 5 is an appropriate age to just drop kids off at a birthday party. Who knew? Last week, one of the moms asked me what time she should be back to pick up her son. I looked at her in confusion. Wait, you're leaving? There are 20 kids here! What if all their moms left? Dont' leave. That's not allowed. So I asked another mom last night what she thought. "Sure!" she said. "At Tanner's party, we are planning on the kids getting dropped off". But....but...they are FIVE. I don't know that I'm ok with that. Especially for an outside party. Not that we aren't in a safe area, but THAT many kids? Really? Can you keep an eye on every single one? There are some days I can keep an eye on one 5 year old, much less an entire gaggle of them. This mom will be a guest at Tanner's party, make no mistake about that.

Speaking of 5 year olds, does mine ever sleep? I love love LOVE summer. But I hate the fact that it's still light at 9:30 ("Mommy, I can't go to sleep, it's still daytime!) and his little internal clock is set to wake him up at 7:00. Unless we have plans. If we have plans, he will inevitably sleep until 5 minutes after we are due to leave the house.

Well, our house is officially listed. Pictures and all. I can't wait to get to S.C. and househunt down there. I'm hoping we can get the house we have our eye on (My dad's 2nd house) He's turning it over to the bank at the end of this month, so it will be listed even cheaper than it is now. I wonder if we can put a contract on a bank owned house? I don't know how that works. Do they even do contingency contracts anymore? I just don't want to lose it because we are waiting for our house to sell. That is MY Dad's house you would live next to, Buster! MINE! Our house has only been listed for a couple of days, but we haven't had ANY showings. Not one. The first couple of weeks should be almost non stop! And it's listed at a great price. I really want to be settled by this fall, so that IF we send Wyatt to school, he can start with the rest of his class. SC just has stricter homeschool laws, so I'm not sure how that would play out. More research is required. From what I can tell, there are more resources for homeschooling parents. We shall see.

Until another day, my pretties.....

(Oh, and that other day probably won't be tomorrow. I work uber late tonight, and church in the morning. What? No, I don't recall making any promise to blog every day. Don't be silly)

Well, it's been almost a month....

I went out of town for a week to the beach. I went with a few girls. It was nice to get away, and I came home with a fresh perspective.

On one hand, there's a lot going on, but on the other, it's nothing notable.

Wyatt graduated PreK. I only got teary eyed once. When he got on the stage and said his line, it made me laugh so hard. He is such a bright, funny little man and I am truly blessed to call him my son. The other day I went into his room to remind him to get dressed. He was laying on his bed, with a book in his hand. I stood in the doorway and listened. He was reading! I get a little misty eyed writing this. I can't believe it.He's so smart. When I asked him to get dressed, he asked if he could finish reading his book first. Hmmm...procrastinating in order to read...Where might he get that from?

I'm still so on the fence about school next year. I'm not at all worried about the socialization. Between sports, chuch, and friends, he will have plenty of socialization. I have to confess, it's purely selfish. I want a break! I know there has to be a balance...a way to send him to public school and still raise a respectful, God loving little man. I know, I know...whatever decision I make isn't going to be the end all be all....but still.

What, you've had enough of my indecisiveness? Fine, fine. Onto other news. I started Weight Watchers. Again. In my first week, despite 2 "I want what I want so I'm not counting points" meals, I lost 2.5 pounds. Not too shabby. It really is a simple diet to follow. I can do this. And if I start to think I can't...well....here's my motivation. NO laughing! I bought 2 newborn size tshirts. One is hanging on the fridge, the other in the pantry. Here's the thing, I'm going to do this diet for the next month, then start Clomid, a fertility drug. It's pretty mild in comparison. I won't bore you with details. I will, of course, continue with the diet while I"m on Clomid (which will be 4 months) and then we will explore other fertility avenues if needed. Or, you know, maybe Wyatt will be an only child. If that's the plan God has in store for us, then that's how it will be. And you know, I am still a very lucky mom. I would never feel like I was settling with just one child livng with me. Wyatt is incredible.....

So let's see...what else is going on....I'm totally miserable at work. I am just so sick of the drama, and when I'm at work, I just think of all the things I could be doing at home. Next month, between our work schedules, there is no time for anything. I think we may have one day off together. Starting in July, I think I'm only going to work 10pm-6am. Then Wyatt will never know I'mnot here, and I can still get plenty done at home. We shall see.

Reflection

Congratulations Nick & Lindsey!!!!

I'm sitting here, waiting for more of that stuff to arrive. That cold, wet, nasty stuff. While I'm waiting, I reviewed my blog on my goals for the year. I really haven't made much change :( However, I am trying. I need to be more disciplined. I did start Weight Watchers yesterday. And, I ate exactly what I needed to stay at my target points. I think now it's so easy to follow WW, because there are SO many recipes out there. There's a lot of pre-made food (muffins, TV dinners) so I can follow it at work too. And I don't feel at all deprived. I even had Starbucks this morning! I started my period yesterday, and had the chocolate I was craving. This really is a very easy diet to follow. If I have a recipe, I plug it into the thing-y online, and it tells me how many points I'm using. I can do this!!! Being forced to keep track of what I eat though, taught me something. I knew I snacked on stuff, but I don't think I realized how much until today. When I cleaned up from the kids' lunch, out of habit, I almost popped a handful of goldfish into my mouth. It's not like I was hungry. It's no wonder I put on all this weight. I didn't realize how much I really ate when I was bored. One thing I can say, is WW will help me to keep my goal of cooking more!

I am hereby making a few new goals for myself (To coincide with my New Years Goals)
~Computer use is only for when Wyatt is sleeping or during quiet time. I have neglected Wyatt far too much to be on this machine.
~When I get bored and want to snack, there is plenty of housework I can do. Or when I'm bored and DONT want to snack, there is still housework I can do, or a little boy to play with.
~By this weekend, I want to have my homemaker's notebook put together. Or at least have made some progress with it.

Yesterday I spent quite a bit of time cleaning my bathroom. It felt so good to make that room nice and relaxing. My Valentines Day gift to myself was a bubble bath, complete with a book and candles. Randy didn't get me anything, but that's no surprise. He's still so new to all this stuff. And, really, he let me take that bath. He does so much for me every day, and that's what's important. Not what big thing he can do once a year, but those little daily things are what mean the most. I love you very much, honey!

Soooooo.....(Weight loss)

Well, I am going to try to lose weight. I'm not going to "diet". Rather, Im going to try to watch portion sizes. I will try using smaller plates, and not getting 2nds. And rather than keeping chips on hand for when I get the munchies, I will keep vegies around. Why am I telling you all this? Accountability. Stay with me here....
Plus, I figure if I'm portion controlling rather than dieting, it's safer to continue once we do conceive (whenever that may be)
Starting tomorrow (ha ha, I know, but really, I mean it) I am going to weigh myself twice a week (Sun & Wed) and keep track. I don't know that I will publish it or not though. We will see. I also think I'm going to keep a food journal. I sorta tried to watch what I ate today...And was amazed at how packed with calories some things are. Coffee creamer was an obvious one. But the stuff that I dip cucumbers in (I was having cukes for lunch...healthy, 'eh?) was LOADED with calories. There went all the healthiness. I will have to get used to eating things a little more plain, or finding other ways to add flavor. I'm really hoping that by writing everything down I will have a better handle on how much I take in every day. Plus, maybe I will see trends...If I eat more of something, I lose less, or whatever....
I also really want to get some kind of exercise routine established. It will give me more energy, plus all teh other benefits. And if I start one now, then I will be able to continue it. I'm always saying I want more "me" time, right? Well...then I will get it exercising.
I can do this. I know I can. All I have to do is think about the fact that I want to be around for a long long time (ha ha ha) and what I need to do to get there.
Maybe twice a month I will write in my blog what my weight for that day was. That way there is some accountability, but I'm not feeling defeated every time I don't lose a pound, or if one sneaks up on me.
I'm not going to tell myself that I "cant" have anything...I'm just going to ask myself if it's worth it each time I reach for something. Maybe I'll even print up something saying that and put it on the fridge or the pantry. Because even if my weight isn't the issue for TTC, it will be the issue for something at some point.
I think I'm going to look for a weight loss buddy on cafemom. Unless any of you readers want to do this with me? I might ask one of my daycare moms, I think she would be interested.
Water water water is my friend. With Crystal Light. A girl can only do but so much. I can do this!! Really, I can. And I will.